


V for Virgin!

by gossamersilverglow



Category: Erotica - Fandom, Humor - Fandom, Original Work, Romance - Fandom
Genre: Drama & Romance, F/M, Humor, Light BDSM, M/M, Multi, Sex, Threesome - F/M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-07
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2018-11-10 00:46:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 33,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11116386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gossamersilverglow/pseuds/gossamersilverglow
Summary: Every girl should have their best guy friend take her virginity. At least, that's what I think.Yes, I'm that girl.That weird girl that always asks for the impossible and just happens to be secretly in love with her oblivious--rightfully so--best friend. Woe isn't my name though. It's Cassie.And with my impromptu agreement to be a surrogate mother due to financial instability, I'm in a bind. Losing my virginity to a baby is not my cherry picking dream. I have maybe a month to get him to agree before the in vitro process starts. Of course, he and his boyfriend know absolutely none of this.  [M/F/M]





	1. Two boobs, a hole, and a wanted pole

**Author's Note:**

> Constructive feedback, any type of opinion or suggestions, would be very helpful!

A bigger dilemma of my lifetime happened when my gay best friend unintentionally turned me on at some random pool party. Up until that point, I'd never had the urge to do a guy, or a girl for that matter. At twenty, I could honestly admit that I'd never been attracted to anyone that wasn't a movie star. I was a late bloomer to some, but to me a relationship with a movie star would never happen. In that choice, I had safety from STD's, unwanted babies, and heartbreak when I selected which screen hottie would cause my delightful vibrated orgasm.

The rabbit was an all-time favorite.

"So, Ethan, I was wondering..." I started as if it were a normal conversation with any one of my friends.

If I wasn't so comfortable around him I wouldn't be able to ask this rather uncomfortable question. Especially since I had no way of knowing how it would change our relationship in the future. Unfortunately, I was that comfortable with him.

His pine green eyes and charcoal eyelashes fluttered as he shifted his gaze away from his book to glance at me with a raised eyebrow. "Do you plan on finishing that question?"

I shifted, suddenly wary. My light blue cotton shorts slipped higher up my thighs and I grabbed the back of my black tee, pulling the excess material behind me as an afterthought. The general effect was the material stretching across my breasts with the idea of that presenting me as a sex kitten in waiting.

That might have worked for a straight guy.

What the hell are you thinking, Cassie?

That was the thing though, I wasn't thinking, not really. To keep up with that ideal I let the words spill out. "I want you to take my virginity."

It hadn't come out a gobbled mess. Each word had been perfectly clear. I was either going to yip with joy like a new puppy or... Oh shit!

Those seven words bounced off the walls of his apartment, taunting me, teasing me with my stupidity. Saying it in my mind was a different reality to saying it out loud, and Ethan's silence made me wonder if I'd already ruined what we had.

What was I doing? How could I just say it like that?

I knew deep down our friendship was stronger than that, but my insecurities were ugly beasts. Blurting the words out had not been the best choice. I glance down at my chest and quickly released my shirt. My face flushed with humiliation. I'd even tried to make myself physically appealing to him. Two boobs and a hole between my legs kept insisting it wasn't possible to be appealing to him.

What was I thinking?

Resisting the urge to bow my burning face into my hands, I let my mortification consume me as I watched him, waiting for him to point and laugh, to tell me to get out for being so ridiculous, but all he did was blink at his paperback copy of Neverwhere, a frown creasing the sides of his full, slightly chapped, peach-colored lips. The only sign that he'd heard me was the subtle movement of his half-day stubble shadowed jaw clenching and releasing.

His tongue swiped his bottom lip before he turned his head towards me. The book in his hand flexed in his tightening grip and new tears in the binding formed.

"Cassie," he paused, his eyes lifting to the ceiling like he was searching for help on what to say. "You were there when I told you I was gay, weren't you? I mean it was five years ago, but it did happen."

It was settled. It was as simple as that for him; end of story. While I felt stupid for blurting out my secret desire to have sex with him, I knew this was a small hiccup to expect. That didn't stop the speed of my heart. I placed a hand over my chest and felt the pounding beneath my breast.

"Of course I was there. I know you're gay," I managed, relieved he hadn't laughed.

I knew this wasn't going to be easy. I'd thought about this for a long time, long enough to include Ethan's boyfriend—Seth—a part of the 'devirginize Cassie' mission. It had to be Ethan and if Seth came as a result then I was definitely okay with it. Seth was like a rippling super model.

A piece of my curly brown hair fell onto my warming cheeks as I sighed and folded my arms across my chest. I turned my upper body towards him and leaned closer, settling inches away from his side and reiterated the truth I knew, "I know you like guys. I understand that, but I don't trust anyone else to do it. You're my best friend, Ethan. And let's be honest, at the rate I'm going I won't lose it until I'm like," I paused, my eyes rolling upwards as I pretended to do some mental math, "eighty."

He rolled his eyes and turned the rest of his body towards me, lifting his leg up and settling his bum on his calf. "Don't be over dramatic. You're just picky."

It was my turn to be exasperated. "It's more than that and you know it!"

He chose not to comment on that, but he gave me a knowing look and bowed his head. "Why now? You've never cared before."

Now that I had no plans of telling him. My two main reasons were for me and me alone, at least for now.

Sharing my reasons would be way too embarrassing. The first reason: his glistening abs and a pair of black swim trunks at a pool party. My tweaked nether regions had gone into a frenzy that night and ever since, so much that wet-dreaming became ritual for me. When I realized that I truly did want him, Rational Bug came and bit my ass. 'Cassie Sandwich Fetish' haunted my sleep and wake time and it didn't take long for Seth to start appearing in my erotic dreams after that. Being hyper-sexually aware of Ethan meant the same for his significant other.

Ethan was always walking around shirtless and Seth was touchy – as in he was always touching me or Ethan. Seth's enjoyment of physical contact was borderline molestation. Maybe that was too strong of a word, but the truth is it had never bothered me before because I'd never noticed it. Now that I did notice it hot showers were a thing of the past and when those ice cold ones didn't do the job... well, let's just say that my bank account has dwindled. Sex toys, good ones at least, are not cheap and I'd burned out three within two months.

Seth, for a gay guy, really knew how to touch me too. He would run his fingers up my bare thighs when I had shorts on, or bump me from behind with his hip. He would pat my ass and make comments about my small chest... he even took a finger and pulled the neck-line of my shirt down to peek inside. I wasn't a nympho, at least I didn't think so, but my sex-drive remained in warp speed and now I had to do something about it.

And then there was the second reason, one that was still a little too surreal for me to even admit. That was not the way I was going to lose my virginity, but that was also the reason Ethan and Seth needed to know about the most because I was counting their support.

"Well? Why now?" Ethan repeated his question.

I wasn't going to let the answer 'because you and your boyfriend make me horny, Ethan' slip out, but it settled on the tip of my tongue. It was the easiest answer, after all, plus it wasn't a lie.

Biting my lip, I shrugged. "I don't know. I guess I want to know what it feels like. I'm tired of waiting and masturbation can only do so much."

A horrified expression crossed his face, but he shook his head quickly, his sandy blonde hair falling into his eyes. His book dropped to the floor with a thud and he rubbed the back of his neck. "Are you in love with me? Is that it?"

I slapped a hand to my chest and let my mouth drop, faking an outraged expression. I vehemently shook my head in denial. "Ethan, I'm twenty, not twelve. I just want you to stick your pole into my—"

He held a hand up; literally face-palming me, and the feel of his smooth hand brushing against my lips sent chills over my body. "Shit! Do not finish that sentence!"

I scoffed and shook his hand off reluctantly. My teeth sunk into my bottom lip when his hand, instead not touching me at all, fell to my knee. "Hey, I happen to be very sexy. Brett Carson told me that my lips are great for sucking—"

"I'll kill you," he said, his eyes darkening before his expression shifted from menacing to thoughtful. He raised an eyebrow and cleared his throat. "I didn't know Brett liked you."

I shrugged and scooted forward, forcing Ethan's hand to slip up to my thigh. My breath caught in my throat as he allowed his hand to shift with the movement. "I didn't either," I said, hoping he didn't hear the high pitch change in my voice. "And don't change the subject! I know it's me, once again, asking a lot of you, but I love you. I feel safe with you and I know you won't hurt me or be a jerk after it's done. Or worse, leave me."

His expression changed again. It was his business man one, his emotionally cold, yet slightly piqued with interest one. Making the person it was directed at think they might have chance, but not to fuck with him.

Hope kindled inside of me because I knew in that moment he was taking me seriously.

"How can you be so sure?" he asked.

"That you won't be a douche afterwards, well I've known you since you were like twelve and you love me too much."

Ethan scowled and shifted further down the couch, away from me. "I love you, but I'm not deflowering you. That should go to someone you're in love with."

I clucked my tongue against the rough of my mouth making a 'tsking' noise. "Why not? We can watch gay porn to get you hard. I don't object to porn. Porn is my life!"

He flinched and patted my thigh. "I really didn't need to know that."

"You know everything else about me," I mumbled, trying to keep my pout at bay. "All I want you to do is—"

He nodded with a scoff. "Is stick my pole in your—"

I held my hand up. "Okay, you're right that wasn't the best word choice."

"Ya think?"

I sighed, rolling my eyes and sweeping a hand through my hair for dramatic effect. "It's not that big a deal, Ethan."

"Oh, isn't it? In that case let Brett do it!" Ethan lifted his hand from my thigh and crudely cradled my jaw, using his pointer finger and thumb to squeeze my lips into a forced pout. "These lips were clearly made for sucking cock."

Surprised at his vulgar admission, my eyes widened. Ethan didn't do vulgar or even gentle dirty for that matter, at least not with me. I waited for him to release me, but his darkening gaze remained on my lips and for a moment I could swear I saw him leaning into me.

It had to be my imagination. It had to be. So I jerked my face away and faked a gag. "His hands are like meat hooks and his face looks like a very ugly bull dog."

His hand didn't resurface on my thigh, but it did rest between our knees. "Well, it's not a big deal, right?"

"Ethan!" I reached over and punched him as hard as I could, but he barely flinched.

"For arguments sake, let's say I consider this, what about Seth? Does he get a say in this? He is my boyfriend, after all."

"Well technically, since you like guys and I'm a girl, it wouldn't really be cheating."

He scoffed. "That is the most retarded thing I've ever heard! You do realize that Seth's asinine fear of losing me is to you turning me straight, right?"

I frowned, stretching my legs and reaching behind me to scratch my back. "Is that even possible? Besides, he only has that fear because he's your first real boyfriend."

Ethan snorted and settled his elbows on his knees, his chin in his hands. "No, it's not possible. He may be my first boyfriend, but not my first lover. I've told him that."

I smiled. "You're such a freakin' ho."

He grunted.

"So, if it's not possible, then what's the problem? It's just sex!"

"If it was 'just sex' you wouldn't be asking me." I thought I'd lost him, but he turned his face and stared intently at me, his dark brows drawn together in serious contemplation. "Are you sure you want it to be me?"

My mouth dropped open. Was that it? Was this all it would take? I expected a lot more leg work on my part. To not seem too needy, I pretended to think about it before slowly nodding.

"You understand in order for me to take your virginity I have to be-um-well..." His face burned a lobster red as he stumbled over the words.

"Turned on?"

He inhaled sharply and then nodded.

"Yes. That's why I was thinking that maybe we could ask Seth to join us, or you know, there's always the porn I mentioned earlier. I'm adventurous but double penetration my first time might be a little much," I said, feeling relived to have finally gotten the idea of Seth joining us out.

Was I dirty for wanting them both? Was it wrong?

The idea of the three of us alone and together just felt right in every way every time I thought about it. I only hope Ethan didn't think less of me for wanting that.

Ethan blinked and his lips parted. It was then I noticed the steady flush spreading across his cheeks and down to his neck. Maybe this idea was a little more intriguing to him too.

"How did I know you would say that? And you think I'm the freakin' ho?" he asked playfully.

I pouted and folded my arms across my chest. "A virgin can't be a ho." Blowing on my nails with an 'I-know-something-you-don't-know' look, I nodded. "Seth tells me things, Mr. Sub. I could be your new dom too if you want. I think I could handle a whip pretty well and how hot would I look in slutty leather?"

"Oh lord," Ethan mumbled. "Why do I put up with you?"

The corner of my mouth lifted in a smile. "Because you love me and I'm your snuggle bunny."

I bit my lip to contain my excitement. I could see it in his eyes. He'd given in. My brain grew legs and leapt with joy as he scrubbed his hands through his hair.

"Oh man," he mumbled. "I can't wait to hear what Seth has to say about this."

"He'll want to know why he can't pop my cherry."

Ethan groaned, his shoulders sagging, his face now hidden in his palms, "That's exactly what he'll say."

I patted his muscular shoulder, letting my fingers linger longer over his warm skin. "We probably won't even have to talk him into it."


	2. Seth

I struggled with Ethan's front door as I juggled two iced coffees, a box of cupcake muffin hybrids, and my 'seen-better-days' imitation Coach purse. An eight hour shift from hell, courtesy of The Coffee Barn, and that mighty door knob was two seconds away from taking me out.

"Pft. I might just let it," I mumbled before giving in and tapping my aching foot against the door.

It swung open instantly, and there stood Seth, the fit model with permanently bronzed skin, thanks to his Italian and Greek heritage, cerulean blue 'fuck-me' bedroom eyes, and medium length hair so black it almost had a blue sheen. He wore a pristine white polo shirt, barely hiding the tribal art tattoo that curled at the base of his throat, and light gray sweats. Draw-string sweat pants were his go-to when he wasn't in public.

I swallowed and offered him a timid smile. "Hey. I got you an iced coffee," I said, holding the cups out to him.

Seth took them, but didn't say anything, which was unusual. Whether it was teasing me mercilessly, making gutter worthy jokes, telling stories about his Mafia involved family, or snarky remarks at something stupid I'd said he always had something to say.

So when his silence continued and his head tilted to the side as he eyed me I knew Ethan had already told him what I wanted. I bit my bottom lip at the realization, pausing as I noticed Seth's eyes zoning in on the movement. My heart fluttered and I could feel the heat filling my cheeks. It was fairly cold outside, so my cheeks were already chapped and probably pink, but where my apartment was on the wrong side of town and lacked everything, Ethan's was the exact opposite. So the heating in the building had already started bringing my body to a normal temperature and I wasn't so sure I'd be able to hide my blush for much longer.

"He told you?"

Seth neither confirmed nor denied it, but his lingering gaze down the front of my body told me the truth. I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly as I stepped inside, trying not to bump into his front as he stood immobile in the same spot. I shucked my shoes off, careful the movement didn't upset the contents in the box I held, and wiggled out of my red plaid fleeced jacket I'd found for practically free at a local Goodwill.

"What's in the box?" he asked, stepping closer towards me.

I glanced up warily and turned my body away from him so I could hide my treasure. "It's not for you. You and Ethan got iced coffee."

"Okay, but what is it?" His hand darted out to try and grab it from me, forcing his chest closer to my face so that I got a whiff of pine and sandalwood. One of these days I planned on smuggling his and Ethan's cologne so I could spray my lumpy bed pillows with it. Where Seth smelled like spice, Ethan smelled like sugar, well specifically honeysuckle and fresh cotton, which to me was the equivalent of sugar. It was one other way they offset each other so well.

Resisting the urge to bury my nose in him, I danced out of his reach and held the green box to my chest, desperately trying to keep the gold dusted chocolate ganache on my hybrid cupcake muffins from pressing into the top of the clear film.

"I'm not sharing with you!"

He paused and glanced down at me. When I'd first met Seth, about three years ago, I'd been intimidated by him, mostly due to his height, numerous tattoos, and strange scars that littered his torso. He easily was a half a foot taller than Ethan and Ethan was just passing six feet. There I was, Miss Short Stuff, at a solid five four. I got over it, but now, with him towering over me, I remembered my hesitance at that first meeting.

"But you expect me to share with you?"

My mouth dropped open and I stilled. I knew Seth would eventually plow into the topic. It was just his way, but I hadn't expected it to be over my dessert. "That's different!" I cried out.

The corner of his mouth curled upwards into a smirk. "Is it now? Care to enlighten me then."

I frowned and bit my lip as I thought about it. "Well—"

He raised a black eyebrow and folded his arms across his wide chest. "Yes?"

"You're not the only one that has to share in that instance."

"Oh," he managed around a chuckle. "Okay." He stepped away from me and made a wide gesture with both of his hands towards the living room.

I lifted my head, squared my shoulders, and pushed my chest out. My show of defiance only made him laugh harder. I was used to this type of ribbing from him. He was always trying to take my food, something he thinks is just so hilarious because I react to it, but he didn't know the reason behind my actions. It wasn't the first foster home I'd been in where they treated the kids like trash. I had plenty of instances after my biological parents died in that crash, but it was only after my adopted parents --both of whom I thoroughly adored--bit the bullet, and before Ethan's parents could legally swoop in and save me, that I experienced what true, gut gnawing, hunger felt like. That foster 'hell' thought it was okay to feed the children as sparingly as possible.

Sobering thoughts could bite my ass. I was truly tired of them creeping into my daily life activities and a marathon of sex might just fix that problem. I bit the inside of my cheek to keep from grinning like a loon as I took closer steps to the living room, but Seth's hands wrapped around my upper arms, pulling my back against his chest. He leaned down close, so close I could feel his coffee scented breath ruffling my hair and caressing the auricle of my ear.

"Are you sure you want to do this, Cassie?" His whispered words made me shiver as I watched the back of Ethan's head bob enthusiastically as he played some 'shoot-em-up' game on his game console. I settled into his chest, letting my eyes shut briefly at the contact of his muscular pectorals against me.  
  
"Yes." 


	3. You're not the Yoda of sex!

I’m in heaven. Foot-rub heaven. For those who don't believe, it does exist here on Earth. It's in the form of Seth Katsaros and his magically nimble hands.

I purred like a kitten, pointing my toes, and arching my back as he thrust his thumb along the arch of my foot. I snuggled down into the suede couch sinking so far into the cushions I was halfway in Seth’s lap. Thankfully, the previous uncomfortable atmosphere had long since dissolved, and I flung an arm across my brow, humming my pleasure, basking in my little slice of peace.

Neither Ethan nor Seth said anything since he’d started the massage in regards to why I was here and not at home, but at that moment I didn’t care, at least not until Seth spoke and brought the main topic of conversation onto the table.

"You want Ethan to pop your cherry, eh?” Seth said as he applied more pressure to my heel. “I’m more than willing to deflower you if Ethan can’t.”

I popped an eye open and sunk my teeth into my bottom lip. “A little to the left,” I mumbled and lifted my arm to peek at Ethan to see his reaction.

He was scowling at Seth and cradling his drink on his chest. “Babe, your predictability could get boring.”

Seth raised an eyebrow. “I’m predictable? That’s not what you said last night!”

Ethan pointed at me, completely ignoring his taunt. “She knew you’d say that. Hell, I knew you’d say it.” His shoulders lifted as he inhaled and exhaled.

Only Ethan could make breathing look sexy, I thought, pretending to hide my eyes beneath my arm again, but really my eyes morphed into a hawks because I didn’t want to miss a thing.

"Gorgeous, you just know me in and out," Seth said with a saucy wink. His blue eyes sparked with mischief and he gave a sexy smirk as he reached over to rub up Ethan’s thigh.

I nudged at his stilled hand with my ankle. “Just because you’re groping Ethan doesn’t mean you get to stop rubbing my foot,” I said.

“I’ll bet she’s a wild cat in bed,” Seth said. He had one hand still on Ethan’s thigh, but the hand that had been rubbing my foot slid up my bare leg too.

I stiffened as he continued his ascent and did the only thing I could think of as he started to reach beneath my skirt: I smacked at his wandering hand. “Don’t be dirty.”

Seth snorted, but pulled away, "Says the girl that wants Ethan to go cherry picking."

“Stop saying it like that,” I mumbled, hating the burn spreading down my chest.

"And what I don't understand is why? Stay a virgin," Ethan said, crossing a leg over his knee, effectively blocking Seth’s hand. "Once you lose it, it’s gone and you can’t get it back."

He was twenty-one, a whopping one year older than me, and he was talking like he was a knowledgeable old man? I wasn’t asking him to do this because he was an expert. I was asking because I felt safe with him and telling me to not lose my virginity wasn’t going to change my mind.

“Well, thank you, Yoda, for that insightful speech. Are you a virgin, Ethan?” I raised an eyebrow and folded my arms across my chest.

"No."

"Are you sexually active?"

Ethan's face flushed—God, he’s cute. He raised his iced coffee to his lips and took a sip before speaking. "Yes."

"Daily, in fact… sometimes three times a day. In the bathroom, on the bed, in the kitchen… on the kitchen," Seth said, his grin widening with every lip nibble or nervous hand that swept through Ethan's hair. "You know he's a screamer, Cass?"

"So you've informed me, multiple times. Just last week actually," I said dully.

It was true. Seth was all about the 'shock' factor and if he could put someone in an uncomfortable position he’d do it every time. Seth's frequent conversations about their sex life could have been half of the trigger to what made me notice a glistening wet Ethan that day. They're both drool worthy, so what girl in their right mind would deny that, but the idea that it had been Seth’s fault from the beginning was there.

Why wasn’t he rubbing my foot anymore?

“Seth, please!” I cried out quickly, once again nudging his fingers with the tips of my toes. His large hand immediately started again.

"The point is Cassie right now. Not our sex life,” Ethan said, a deep growl rumbling in his chest. “By the way,” he kicked at Seth with his foot, “I want to talk to you about that!”

“About what?” Seth asked.

“About how much information you share with Cassie. Why do you do that?”

Seth smirked and licked his bottom lip as he gave me a come-hither look I’d only seen him give Ethan. “Next time I do it, be sure to watch her face.”

I frowned. “What is that supposed to mean?”

Seth raised an eyebrow and tilted his head. “Has anyone ever told you your lips were made to be wrapped around a cock?”

I gasped, not knowing what to say. Seth talked crassly around me all the time, but something had changed. It was more direct. His intent was more clear. I frowned as I watched him and another kindle of hope blossomed in my chest.

Seth did want to do this. And that meant…

Ethan gasped. “Didn’t you tell me the other day that Brett said something like that to you?”

I nodded and frowned deeper, confused as to what to do even how to feel. “I-I forgot I told you about that. Yeah, he did.”

“That’s because I’m the one that brought it to his attention,” Seth said gave a simple shrug. "I didn't think he'd try hitting on you with it, the fucker!

I was the topic of conversation in the guys’ locker room? I turned to Ethan to see if he found that as pleasing as I did. Maybe my desire to fuck them both wasn't as far fetched as I thought.

“Did you now? And why were you talking to Brett again?” Ethan asked, failing to disguise the jealousy in his voice.

Brett was the type of guy that didn’t care if he got it from a dog just so long as he was getting some —guys, girls, threesomes, moresomes— the drunker the better, party type of guy.

"He's right, Cass. Stay a virgin," Seth said, trying to change the subject. His sarcasm let me know he was on my side though.

“Smooth, Seth. Real smooth,” I said, nudging his hand with my foot again. “Would you stop stopping? I’m in pain here!”

“I’ve always loved the way you beg me!” He grabbed my big toe and wiggled it.

I tsked my tongue on the roof of my mouth. “Anyhow, the point I was trying to make is that just because you’ve both had sex it doesn’t qualify either of you to tell me to stay a virgin. You guys aren’t Yoda. Besides, the way I’m going I’ll die a virgin,” I said.

“I’m okay with that,” Ethan said.

My heart dropped. There were way too many mixed signals and I was never good at deciphering anything. “Well, I’m not okay with it. So I guess if you won’t do it, maybe Brett—” I could hear the disgust in my voice.

Ethan’s hand clamped down on my shoulder and I turned to look at him. “No,” he said.

The possession and anxiety in his voice over me mentioning Brett was enough to keep me quiet.

Ethan pulled away and ran a hand through his hair. "You're right, we’re not Yoda, but we have had it, unlike you. So I know what you're asking for and I can’t help but feel that you don't fully understand. Even though you asked, I'm giving you a way out or a way to think about it more. Not to mention, you're a girl. I've never had sex with a girl and clearly the first time for a girl versus a guy is completely different. I don't want you to feel that you have to now that I've mentioned it to Seth and I don’t really like the idea of you losing your virginity to someone else."

My eyebrows rose and I stared at him with a mixture of emotion that made him uncomfortable as he shifted in his seat.

He shrugged and dropped his head to my shoulder. “I don’t trust anyone else to do it either. I couldn’t deal with someone hurting you. You've been through enough hurt already. Way too much.”

My heart melted and the wetness from that seemed to pool between my legs. I could feel the uncomfortable dampness sticking to my underwear and I clenched my thighs. A movement that hadn’t gone unnoticed from Seth as his gaze focused on my exposed upper thighs. His eyebrow rose and his hands ventured up my calves again.

“This skirt is really uncomfortable. I should go change,” I mumbled and tried to shift away, but Seth held me in place and Ethan didn’t bother moving his head from my shoulder.

“You liked what he said,” Seth said forming the conclusion out loud so Ethan could catch on. “Did it make you wet?” He bowed his head trying to peak under my skirt.

I’m sure I looked like a fish after bubbles as my mouth opened and closed. I kicked gently at his chest to keep him from seeing anything. “I-ah—”

“You’re so cute when you blush,” Seth interrupted my stuttering.

I frowned down at him, a little ticked because I knew I’d just given him the reaction he wanted. "How did you know you were gay if you’ve never had sex with a girl?" I asked Ethan suddenly, wanting to morph all the attention in the room to something other than how wet I was.

Seth chuckled. “Changing the subject?” he asked, but instead of drawing out the teasing he answered for Ethan. "First of all, how do you know you’re straight if you’ve never had sex with a guy or a girl? Are you battin’ for girlstown and don’t even know it? Probably not. Plus, he's on the football team, Cass."

That wasn’t really an answer.

I shrugged. "So? Lots of guys are. He’s been playing since he was, like, two."

Seth pushed at my knees, forcing them to open so his chest could come between my legs. He lifted his arms up to rest over my bare thighs, making a show of inhaling sharply, before staring at me pointedly. "Think about it, hon. He's popular, he looks like a fucking sex God, he hasn't come out yet, and therefore cheerleaders are bouncing around in his face with those tight little outfits. This is college and girls want it more than ever now. So when a male has no reaction to that, but has to run into the restroom when the guys are changing in the locker room because he gets a boner, well that's a pretty damn big sign."

"That happened once and it was before you," Ethan said, his shoulders stiffening.

"You never told me about that." I scowled, drawing back my elbow to land a gentle blow to his midriff. His surprised grunt in my ear sent tingles down my spine.

"Hey," he grumbled, rubbing his stomach.

"Why didn't you ever tell me? We've been friends since kindergarten and I thought we told each other everything." I wasn’t terribly upset about it, but it seemed like an important event in his life that I should’ve known about.

"It just didn’t seem important at the time.”

Seth took that opportunity to hit a few of Ethan’s buttons. “You need to come out to your family and friends. It’s getting ridiculous babe.”

Ethan was so close that I could hear his teeth grinding. “You know how my family is."

I frowned. We did know how his family was, me more so than Seth, and it had always been a sore spot for Ethan. Honestly, I think if he told them he was gay they'd be fine with it, but I could see why he'd be hesitant to say anything. At his family cookouts the guys wrestled. They called each other ‘fags’ and ‘pussies’ and went out of their way to make people laugh or feel uncomfortable. They did it with innuendoes or just a plain old beat down, but it was always in good fun. No one ever complained, except for the women when they got too rowdy. His family was all about the sports too: hunting, fishing, football, real manly men stuff, as I'd heard Ethan's Uncle Ted refer to them on occasion.

"They love you, Ethan, and you know what your dad would say if he found out? That he still loved you and how you got your jollies off was your business,” I said, wanting to reassure him.

Seth snickered. "I’d imagine he’d want to have the talk with me too."

“The talk?” I asked curiously.

“Where he threatens me with a shovel? I’ll bet he’d even pull out all the stops and include your Uncle Ted too.”

I snorted and nodded enthusiastically. “He totally would.”

"It took me fifteen years to come out to you, Cass, and you're my person. My family is just a different story," Ethan said, sounding tired, defeated, and clearly not liking the somber switch of conversation.

I felt guilty for changing the topic now as he referenced Grey’s Anatomy. The minute Meredith and Christina, the two main character best friends, had used the ‘you’re my person’ line, Ethan and I had immediately coined it as ours too. Loving that show was another thing Ethan was ‘in the closet’ about. He was a full blown Grey's Anatomy junkie. The three of us would have a crash course marathon of the last season just before the new season came out so we would be up-to-date on everything that happened. Of course, Ethan usually watched every season before that crash marathon.

"So you knew you were gay before you were born?" I asked.

Ethan shrugged. "I knew something was different when I was old enough to understand."

“Then they probably already know,” I said and finally caved. I pushed my bottom lip out in a pout, deciding to finally let him know his previous comment got to me. I twisted my upper body enough to reach for him, which caused me to crush Seth a little as he was still settled between my legs. I pulled Ethan into a tight hug, my arms wrapping around his neck, and breathed him in. "You're my person too," I said softly. “And that’s why—” I paused, knowing it was time to get the show on the road and that I couldn’t let my inexperience stop me from my goal anymore. “That’s why I want you to do this for me.”

His strong arms wrapped around me but his shoulders slumped. "In a perfect world I wouldn't be gay and you’d already be mine," he whispered into my neck. “It’s just not a perfect world, but if you’re okay with it being the both of us—”

I cut him off. I wouldn’t let him get away with that. "Ethan there is nothing wrong with being gay and it is a perfect world… because you're in it. I’m sorry if my request is making you question that.”

Ethan shook his head. “I’m only questioning it, because I’ve thought of you—” He cut himself off.

I pulled away from the hug and frowned curiously up at him, wondering what he’d thought about me, but he was staring at Seth with a helpless request.

What the hell?

Seth cleared his throat and made a thumping noise against his chest. "Bisexuality is a real thing, as rare a beast as people seem to think it is! I’m a proud bisexual.”

My eyes lifted in surprise. That was news to me. I glanced at Ethan to see it wasn’t to him. I suppose it kind of made sense now why Seth was always groping me. I thought it was just what some gay guys did and maybe it is, just clearly not Seth.

“Most gays and lesbians think it’s impossible and I’m here to call bullshit. I’ve told you this before Ethan. You don’t have to be one or the other. And you guys are lucky shit like that—” Seth paused and gestured towards us “—doesn't piss me off anymore. Gawd, the way you both talk to each other, it’s like your star-crossed lovers.”

I mumbled an apology, because while I didn’t think it was to the extent Seth saw it as, I did notice that it had been a serious issue at the start of Seth’s and Ethan’s relationship three years ago. I thought, until the day Seth and Ethan had had their first fight about it, that the way we spoke to each other was natural. I tried to distance myself out of respect for their relationship, but we all ended up being miserable, and luckily it was Seth that realized it. Seth sat me down and told me how sorry he was, that if he didn’t like Ethan so much it wouldn’t have bothered him. After that, the three of us became inseparable, and Seth warmed up to me fast. Seth mentioning that it used to tick him off made me feel even guiltier for making this request, but I could never trust anyone else as much as I trusted them.

Seth’s hand squeezed my upper thigh. “Don’t be sorry. I’m used to it now. I think everything between the two of you, between the three of us, has been slowly accumulating to this moment, to Cassie’s request. Humans are sexual creatures by nature. It was bound to happen and I’m more than okay with it, just so we’re all clear.”

There was such seriousness to his voice that I pulled fully away from Ethan, dropping my arms to my sides as I watched Seth watching me intently. Had everything between the three of us been leading up to this moment? No. I didn’t think so, but if that’s what Seth thought then maybe there was a little truth in there. And Seth’s confirmation that he wanted to do this too made my skin vibrate so much that I was certain they both could feel the heat coming off me in waves.

Biting my bottom lip—I would end up gnawing a hole in it by the end of this—I rubbed my hands vigorously against my sides. The tension thickened and I became hyper-aware of all three of our positions. Seth’s warm breath fanned against the tops of my thighs, and my upper body was still turned towards Ethan from that hug. I was so close to him that my nipple brushed against his chest.

How did I not notice he was shirtless until now?

Ethan was just as physically fit as Seth, just as sexy with his lighter tanned skin. I swallowed as my eyes dropped down his chest. Sometimes beauty just overwhelmed me too much. I didn’t know whether to cry at his beauty or rip my clothes off and shout ‘do whatever you want to me!’

"I'm not bisexual," Ethan whispered as he watched me. "I'm not attracted to women."

"You're attracted to Cassie," Seth argued. "Or do I have to remind you what happened last night?"

Ethan tilted his neck to the side, cracking it as he gave a warning glare in Seth's direction. "That's different. It's just her."

"What happened last night?" I couldn't stop myself from asking, but neither of them answered.

I licked my lips and, almost unconsciously, I let my hand reach forward to run the tips of my fingers down Ethan's abs. His stomach tightened at the touch. I heard him breathing, but barely, and I glanced up at him, unable to disguise my desire, my hope. “So will you? Will you be my first?” I asked.

I pulled away from him and decided to lighten the mood a little as I continued with a half hearted chuckle, "I mean, Seth seems to be okay with it."

I gasped as Ethan’s hand fell to my stomach. I thought he was going to repeat what I did to him just over my shirt, but instead he bunched up the material into his fist and pushed it up, exposing my midriff and the undersides of my bra-clad breasts. My breath hitched as he caressed my skin, but I stopped breathing entirely when he slipped his fingers down the waistband of my skirt.

Holding my breath, I resisted the urge to close my eyes as I watched him, waiting for more.

Ethan took a shaky breath, pausing his hand just above my panties. He frowned, tilting his head as he stared down. I could feel his fingers tapping nervously against my pelvis as he cleared his throat. "I-I don’t think I know what to do,” he spoke softly, sounding helpless “but yes, I will.”

Seth, who’d been surprisingly quiet, shifted between my thighs and slowly pushed his hand up my skirt. My chest rose and fell rapidly as I tried to catch my breath. I think if Seth had actually touched me instead of the top of Ethan’s hand I would’ve been done for, but then it happened. Seth was slipping both his and Ethan’s hand under the band of my cotton underwear.

My fists clamped at my side and my hips rose slightly. “Oh my God,” was all I could manage and my eyes slammed shut. All I could hear was heavy breathing: mine, Seth's, and Ethan's.

“I’ll show,” Seth whispered. “I’ll show you both.”


	4. Sensitive Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things are starting to heat up for the three MC's.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank so much to Chestnoot for reviewing and for all the kudos! I hope you enjoy this chapter as well.

My month’s long fantasy accumulated into this one moment and we hadn’t even started the cherry picking.

Too many times had I waken from a dream where Ethan and Seth were the leads and I would make a small cameo. Only occasionally was I the main star and those where the dreams that made me orgasm in my sleep. So, saying I’d merely thought about having a threesome with my two best friends was the biggest understatement of the millennia. Now, having it actually happen was hot.

Hot, but damn awkward too.

There was a caged monster trying to break free inside me as I watched Seth give Ethan a reassuring smile. They both looked so calm and here I was about ready to attack. To keep from doing so, I pushed my palms into my lower abdomen hoping to release some of the pressure their hands—partially down my underwear—were causing.

When Seth started pulling Ethan’s hand further down I let out a panicked squeal and tried to slam my thighs shut, only to be caught up short because Seth was still between them. “Look, I’m all for diving in, but if you keep going I’m gonna… look,” I repeated, trying to breathe and speak without stuttering, “I’m feeling really, really physically sensitive at the moment. Maybe we can kiss first?”

I’d kept my eyes shut the entire time I spoke, worried that the sight of them about to explore ‘down unda’ might cause me to have an embarrassing premature moment. I felt Ethan’s hand move from under Seth’s first, but I could tell Seth was debating. My eyes popped open to look at him. Seth was completely transfixed on where his hand was. His thumb continued caressing my pubic bone and his eyes lifted to mine as he allowed his hand to slide down another inch.

My whole body tensed and I stopped breathing. My hips started a tight circular movement of encouragement as his caressing fingers applied a massage-like pressure. I jolted forward as he started to slide his hand down more, awkwardly reaching for Seth’s wrist beneath my skirt to stop his descent.

Now that I could think, I halfheartedly glared at Seth only to notice his chest heaving. Since I wasn’t the only one affected by what happened, I felt less embarrassed by my over excited reaction. His eyes were bright with lust and adrenaline, and though I’d pulled his hand away he was still touching me. Both of his hands clamped down on my thighs, wrapping them tighter around him.

"That was fucking hot," Seth said breathlessly. “It doesn’t take much to turn you on, does it?”

I exhaled loudly and collapsed into the couch. Giving a timid smile to a hovering Ethan, I fanned my face. “If you had two male gods about to go down on you it wouldn’t take much to turn you on either.”

Seth pushed my knees apart enough so that he could place an open mouthed kiss against my right thigh as a reward for my comment. He pulled away and licked his lips curiously. “You taste like coconut,” he mumbled. “I’m used to you smelling like coconut, but I didn’t think you’d actually taste like it.”

“Coconut oil is great for the skin.”

“Ah.”

Insert awkward moment number two.

“So,” Seth started. “I kissed you, now can we—” This time instead of his hand, he shifted his body and bowed his head like he was about go under my skirt entirely.

“Not there! A kiss on the mouth!” I rushed the words out so fast it sounded like a foreign language.

Seth pulled away with a laugh. “I was kidding! I know what you meant. It was comic relief. You’re so tense.”

He pulled me down so that I was no longer sitting on the couch, but in his lap. It was so sudden all I could do was blink at him. Seth gave a seductive, slow smile as he cupped the nape of my neck and pulled me to him, placing a gentle, chaste kiss against my mouth.

Seth showed just how strong he was when he got to his feet with me clinging to avoid falling. He glanced down at Ethan. “Kneel on the floor,” he demanded and I was mildly surprised by how quick Ethan complied.

It wasn’t completely unknown to me that Ethan and Seth indulged in some light bdsm, and I knew Ethan was submissive at those times, but it was another thing seeing it happen. In real life, out of the bedroom, Ethan was anything but submissive. He was the one that made the plans; he was the one that had every detail of his schedule mapped out only allowing a little wiggle room. Though it irritated Seth, Ethan insisted on paying for everything too. I always saw it as a control issue, but maybe that’s why Ethan let loose in the bedroom because he couldn’t outside of it.

“Sit on him,” Seth said to me as he withdrew his support from my legs. I let my legs fall from his waist and allowed him to turn me towards Ethan.

I took a step forward, but Seth reached around from behind me and captured my chin. He turned my head so that my body was still towards Ethan, but my face was facing Seth. “As much as I’d love to take advantage of that mouth of yours, I’m gonna take a backseat for a little while.”

When I tore my gaze away from his mouth and looked into his eyes I could see the intense passion there, even before I noticed the muscles under his shirt rippling with restraint. “You should take your shirt off,” I said.

Seth lifted my chin, forcing my eyes away from his chest. He gave me a cheeky grin and said in a fake girl’s voice, “My eyes are up here.”

I snorted and rolled my eyes. “If you were trying to mimic my voice then that was just horrible! You sounded like a dying pig. Besides, I don’t have that problem so I know for a fact I’ve never said that to anyone.”

“When have you ever heard what a dying pig sounds like?” Seth paused and tilted his head, frowning. “What the hell do you do in your free time?”

“Ha! What free time? I definitely don’t kill pigs when I have it though.”

Ethan chuckled from his spot on the floor. “Really, because with the way you eat bacon—”

Turning my head, I gave Ethan my best ‘leave-my-bacon-out-of-this’ scowl. “I haven’t had bacon in months. It’s too expensive!”

Seth pushed me forward and helped me straddle Ethan’s lap on the floor, so that my legs were between his back and the couch, all the while continuing our banter. It was something I was thankful for. It really settled the mood and brought our group dynamic back. Instead of all the pent up sexual tension—on my part mostly— it was an easy, teasing atmosphere that lasted for a good couple of minutes.

And then I realized how close I was to Ethan. The front of my body was plastered to his naked upper half and every time I laughed my hardened nipples brushed against chest. I could feel the metal of his jean’s zipper against the slightly damp ‘v’ between my legs. The rough material created a subtle friction that I hadn’t noticed until I shivered from the last laugh. It left me practically panting. When one of his large hands clutched the side of my hip my staccato breathing accelerated. It didn’t go unnoticed by either Seth or Ethan.

“So,” Ethan started as he stared into my eyes. “Hi.”

He meant it playfully, but I was drowning in his evergreen eyes. “Hi,” I whispered. “So, a kiss?”

Ethan nodded and leaned forward to place his warm lips against mine. It was a kiss like we’d always given each other: when we said hello, when we said goodbye.

“That wasn’t what I was talking about,” I said, casting my eyes down, worried that this situation might not work as well as I hoped it would.

Ethan’s hand, still clutching my waist, pulled me forward so that my back arched and my face was within inches of his. “A warm-up,” he said.

His coffee and mint smelling breath seemed to whisper against my lips and I wanted to suck his tongue until I took the last remnants of that smell, of that taste, from him. Ethan always took a shot of mint in his iced coffee and I’d always made faces at him when he drank it because mint wasn’t a favorite flavor of mine. I had a feeling my distaste for mint would probably be changing after this kiss.

With his free hand he reached up to cup the side of my face. He tilted his head, so our noses wouldn’t knock into each other, and darted his tongue out for a taste of my grapefruit chap stick that he was always stealing from me even after I told him where I got it. He let out a pleased moan and captured my lips again.

The minute his mouth was on mine for longer than a second, I opened my mouth and captured his tongue, doing exactly what I wanted to. It was awkward at first. I sucked so hard he couldn’t do much more but wait until I’d had my fill. It wasn’t really a kiss, but Ethan indulged me a little before he took over.

His hand moved from my face and settled at my waist opposite of where his other hand was, but he moved, and I felt the flat palms of his hands under my ass, lifting me, pushing me into him. The intense jolt of pleasure forced a surprised grunt from my lips and my hips rolled to relieve the pressure. Clearly, my body was right on topic, by my mind needed to catch up—it was still on the introductory kiss or rather introductory suck.

When I felt another set of hands on me, I yelped in surprise and turned to see Seth settling just behind me, sitting Indian style. He was close enough that I could see his knees touching Ethan’s. I flushed, trying to calm myself through my yoga breathing, not sure if I was utilizing the techniques because I was sandwiched between to hot men or because Ethan had stopped kissing me when I pulled away. His lips trailed down the side of my neck, on the edge of my jaw, and then down to my collarbone where he stayed.

Tearing my gaze from Seth’s, I leaned my head backwards so Ethan could get better access. His slurping noises were making me wet in more than one place, and every time he incorporated a scrap of his teeth my hips would essentially dry hump his naked abdomen.

Seth pushed against me, his chest plastered to my back as he forced Ethan’s head up, tearing him from his love session with my collar bone. Seth captured Ethan's mouth in a rough, passion-filled kiss over my shoulder. With every tongue slash and stab for dominance Ethan leaned forward into me trying to get closer to Seth.

My senses were on overload and I cried out when Ethan shifted beneath me enough that it felt like a hip-snap against my groin. One more of those and I’d be seeing stars. I was sure of it.

Seth pulled away enough to whisper something in Ethan’s ear. Perhaps if the blood rushing in my own ears hadn’t been so loud I’d have been able to hear them, after all, we were close enough. Whatever Seth said did enough to cause Ethan to react and shift beneath me again. It wasn’t a quick snap like before; instead it was a very smooth, but quick adjustment beneath me. My skirt fanned out around us, shielding the activity happening between my legs, but even though I couldn’t see it, I could feel his raging erection. I shivered with anticipation and dropped my head down, gently biting Ethan’s naked shoulder.

I moaned at the salty taste of his skin and soothed the reddish bitten area with my tongue. "What did you say to him?" I asked, pulling away and flinching as Ethan’s fingers dug into my side almost painfully.

"I'll tell you, after he takes your virginity,” he said to me. “I’ll do what I promised, Ethan… to both of you. How about we do this now? In here, the bedroom… on floor is fine too."

Hello! I’m on top of Ethan. Aren’t we already? Was what I thought to myself, but out loud I could only emit a noncommittal whimper of confirmation.

"Just like that? It seems like this is happening a little too quickly. Cassie…" Ethan started sounding out of breath before he trailed off.

"I wouldn't have asked you if I wasn't sure. I was okay with it when it was just an idea. I’m okay with it now. The only hurdle is you," I managed with surprising clarity and then glanced down, “and your jeans, but if you want to keep them on I’m pretty sure we could still have some fun. They don’t call it grinding for nothing.”

“But you’d still be a virgin,” Seth supplied.

“Good point.”

Ethan swallowed and took a shaky breath. "So the three of us?"

I paused, letting it sink in. I looked over at Seth, turning my head to the side as I examined him and then back to Ethan, who was also just realizing what we were about to do. "Yeah, the three of us,” I mumbled, and in an attempt to lighten the mood added, “Plus, it seems only appropriate that you’ll be losing your girl virginity to me.”

“My girl virginity?” Ethan gave a breathless chuckle while continuing to hold my hips firmly against him.

“You’ve never been with a girl. So you have girl virginity.”

Seth snorted in amusement, but his voice held a sinister note that his smiling eyes covered up. “Your girl virginity, huh? Well, I guess this is going to be a first for both of you, isn’t it?”


	5. Girl Parts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ethan (and Seth) explore Cassie's 'girl parts.'

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dirty-ish chapter. Forewarning, if readers hadn't already guessed, I don't use romance novel terminologies. This was initially in two parts. It's over 4,000 words! So, big update. Thanks again to Chestnoott for another gorgeous review! I hope V can continue to keep your interest. Enjoy!

**Girl Parts [1/2]**

Five minutes later, 'awkward' reared its ugly, vicious head once again. Seth, the one who suggested our current position, had moved to the couch and was sitting directly above us, thoroughly amused at Ethan's uncertainty, and watching intently with his chin in his hands as Ethan tried to settle his body on top of mine. We went from me in Ethan's lap, to me lying on my back against Ethan's shaggy, white carpet. I still had my skirt on, but it was bunched up at my waist, exposing my skull and cross designed white underwear. This moment had potential in that it could've been one of the most erotic moments of my life... if only Ethan would keep his elbows to himself.

I giggled under him as he tried once again, this time his elbow catching my just as ticklish side. Ethan pulled back scowling as he settled his weight on his knees. He reached forward to grip my thighs, trying to push them apart so he could rest against me. This started a completely new bout of laughter as the feel of his fingers digging into my flesh tickled more.

"Would you stop?" Ethan asked with exasperation. "I don't remember you being this ticklish," he added with a deep scowl.

I tried to hold in my laughter, knowing his flustered expression had nothing to do with being turned on. It really was one of those situations that would go down in history as crazy. Really, 'awkward' is what it was and this—giggling inappropriately—was how I reacted to it. Although, I got the better end of the deal, I think. Lying on my back while Ethan tried to find a comfortable position... the situation alone was enough to get me going again.

It was almost a gawd awful shame Ethan didn't see the humor in it. If it wasn't so indecent I'd send it to one of those funny shows. We'd win the grand prize. Ethan would've seen it if he wasn't so flustered, but it wasn't in my nature to let something like this go. I could do comic relief as well as the next person, and especially better than Seth.

"Oh, mm, right there, baby." I managed a fake moan before a snort of laughter escaped.

Seth chuckled and Ethan scowled. Not the result I'd been wanting, but it would do. I quickly turned my head to the side, my cheek pressing into the carpet as I gasped for breath between laughter and the occasional cough.

"Well, I'm glad you two find this amusing," Ethan said.

"Cassie," Seth mumbled, his tone reprimanding, but amused all-at-once as he shook his head. He made a quick gesture towards Ethan. "Ethan, take your jeans off, show her the goods. Maybe she'll get more serious."

I instantly sobered. Ooh. Good idea!

Ethan pulled back, steadying himself on his knees, his hands placed at his hips. "If I'm taking the rest of my clothes off so are you," he said.

Whoa! Two for one. Hooray!

"Yeah Seth, take it all off!" I giggled and lifted my gaze towards him. "Don't be shy. I promise I'll talk to your face and not your chest!"

"Actually, Cassie, I was talking to you," Ethan said.

"I-" I started. "Oh, fine. I see how you are," I teased, smirking up at the both of them as I pushed myself up onto my elbows. "Seth still has to take his stuff off too. Now, strip... the both of you!" I clucked my tongue and crinkled my nose into a scowl to rival all scowls when neither of them moved. "Well?"

"I wanted to wait. See how Ethan responded to you without me whispering dirty words into his ear. Without me naked, but fuckin-a if that wasn't a hot little speech," Seth said and whipped his shirt off his head, throwing it at my face.

His warmth clung to the gray material. Resisting the urge to smash it into my face for a better whiff, I balled the shirt up and threw it back. He dodged it easily. I made a 'tsk' noise and sat up fully, bringing my face and upper body closer to Ethan's. His eyes widened, but he didn't move. "I think you're right, Seth, maybe I should try first."

"Try what?" Ethan asked.

Yes what, Cassie? My thoughts were mean to me, but I barely knew what I meant either.

"To-um- to turn you on, Ethan, without Seth getting involved," I paused, but clung to that idea. "Your lack of response to me is the perfect opportunity for practice. Really I just want an excuse to start touching—" I stopped mid-sentence, blinking away the sudden cloud of confusion that caused a film to cover my eyes.

Did I just say that out loud?

Ethan chuckled and nervously rubbed the back of his neck. "You're so sure I won't respond to you? Maybe I would, if you just stopped giggling!"

I pinched my cheeks to keep from smiling and then shifted, scooting away from him to get back on my butt. "Okay, I'm serious now. Tell me what to do."

Ethan raised an eyebrow. "Uh," was all he managed before turning to look at Seth.

"Don't look at me," Seth said, holding his hands up. "This is gonna be hot as hell."

"Voyeur," I mumbled accusingly.

Seth chuckled and turned his attention towards me. "Was that supposed to be an insult?"

I shrugged and glanced down at the floor, running my fingers through the shaggy carpet, noting that the light atmosphere was shifting. "So, tell me what to do."

I wasn't completely ignorant in that department, but some part of me, the Evil!Cassie if you will, wanted me to hear Ethan say it. I licked my lips as Ethan cleared his throat, glanced at Seth once more to make sure he wasn't going to supply some information, and then turned his attention back towards me. "Well, first I think I should get better acquainted with the female body before you even try. Outside of Human Anatomy class I'm clueless."

"Hey, that's cheating!" I made the accusation, but I really didn't care.

Lub-dub, lub-dub – I can hear you, my heart! It was about to explode out of my chest. He wants to touch me! Touch-a touch-a touch-a touch me! I wanna be diii-rty!

"Cassie?"

"Sorry, I had a Rocky Horror moment! You can touch me anywhere you want," I said, trying to ignore the clamminess of my palms. I licked my bottom lip again, avoiding eye contact as my leg jiggled with anticipation.

Ethan shrugged casually. "Skin contact is stimulating to anyone and well, I've never really touched naked breasts before so I think we should start there."

Boy did he talk good foreplay. My inner voice had perfected sarcasm a long time ago, but hell if his words weren't working on my body regardless. I raised an eyebrow and turned my attention back to my best friend, searching his shockingly green eyes, hoping he wouldn't comment on my blushing face. "Are you sure you're not a closeted straight guy? Why is it always the boobs? If I didn't know for a fact you were gay, I'd say you were trying to cop a feel or—or that you don't want me to touch you."

With an eye roll of mock frustration, Ethan reached forward and tugged at the hem of my shirt. It stretched before bouncing back, exposing part of my stomach. "Take your shirt off, Cassie," he said.

I exhaled. "I'm kind of flat-chested," I said in warning as I went for the hem of my t-shirt.

"You're fine," Ethan said.

"Tell us something we don't know," Seth said at the same time.

Warranting that with a snarl wouldn't do anything, so I ignored him and focused on my breathing so I wouldn't pass out. "I just mean... that um... I'm your first boob job. I'm not really up to standards with a good boobage grope, you know?"

"Wait, I'm sorry, I have to interrupt," Seth cackled. "To be clear, what he's about to do is not a boob job. We'll cover that another time."

"Are you being dirty?" I asked, plunking my hands on my hips.

Seth made a wide gesture with even wider eyes. "Hello! Look at what we're doing!"

"Fine, and I know what a boob job is! Lord knows I need one," I mumbled glancing down at my barely sized B bra cupped breasts.

"It's not plastic surgery! I thought you said you've watched porn before."

I gave Seth a 'well-duh' look. "I have. I just don't usually watch it with girls in it."

Seth perked up. "You watch gay men porn?"

I shrugged my shoulders as my answer.

Seth slammed a hand dramatically over his chest. "A girl after my own heart!"

Ethan, choosing to ignore our childish banter, frowned and he dropped his head slightly, trying to make eye contact with me. He reached forward and petted my hair. "Cassie, I've seen you naked before. You do not need a boob job."

"If you won't, I will!" Seth said with a laugh. "I'm half hard now, if you want to start. You'll still have to take your shirt off though."

I think it was then that I finally caught on to what he was saying and my eyes widened in his direction. "Oh. I think I'd like you to do that to me too," I mumbled it more as an afterthought than an actual 'yes' answer. "But first, I need to learn how to give a blowjob!"

"No, first we need you to take your shirt off," Ethan interrupted. "Teach me all I need to know about your girl parts, about what you like, and I'm sure Seth will be very hands on helping me learn. Cassie, I've always admired your body." Ethan paused, giving me a soft smile before he continued, "You're petite and curvy and... you have nothing to worry about, okay?"

I bit my lip, wanting to express to him with my eyes the gratitude I was feeling for him in that moment.

"Hello?" Seth said, waving his hands to gain our attention back.

Ethan took a gulping breath and released it before he moved forward, his cheek so close it was almost brushing mine. I swallowed, my eyes darting as I searched his face. When I felt his warm fingertips brush against my abdomen as he started pushing the hem of my shirt up, I leaned backwards, instinctively feeling the need to watch him strip me of my protection.

Eventually, as my shirt got higher and Ethan's fingertips became his palms, flat against my sides, it became too hard to watch. So I turned my chin into my shoulder to focus on Seth instead, but he no longer had jokes to offer and soon I realized Seth's intense gaze wasn't any easier. I lifted my arms, letting Ethan slip the shirt completely off of me. My chin dropped, looking down to see my chest and shoulders splotched red from embarrassment. My simple cotton bra cupped my breasts, decorated with a tiny pink bow, and I felt the urge to squish my arms tight to my sides in order to give my breasts more volume, but stopped myself at the last minute. This was Ethan and Seth. They didn't need me to act that way.

"I never thought I'd think a miniature pink bow was so sexy," Seth said just next to my ear.

I stiffened, my breath catching in my throat, wondering when he'd gotten behind me again. His warm moist breath against my neck caused my thighs to tremble. His and Ethan's proximity was making it harder to breathe. When I felt Seth's hands slide up my bare back, and the kiss Ethan placed underneath my ear before moving to my face, it was almost too much.

I was going to pass out.

Sensory overload. Warning. Warning.

"Cassie, just breathe," Ethan whispered against my cheek.

 

**Girl Parts [2/2]**

I whimpered as I felt Seth shifting me forward so that my breasts flattened against Ethan's chest, while at the same time following me so close that my shoulder blades touched his. Seth wrapped his arm around my stomach to pull my backside to his front and an appreciative groan emitted from his throat.

"Damn, your ass is perfect," he said, his voice rough and husky as he nudged my hair with his cheek, nuzzling his face into the side of my neck.

His arm slipped from my waist and I gave a startled yelp as he gripped my ass, massaging it deeply. He put his arm back in place around my waist and pulled. My only option was to lean against him or be uncomfortable. As soon as I settled against him though, his hips started thrusting forward, grinding against my posterior.

Oh God.

I wanted to lean forward, put my hands against Ethan for leverage, and push back. I wanted to leave my cotton underwear on and let him grind against me until he had an orgasm. And I wanted Ethan in front of me... with his jeans off. I'd never given a blow job before, but in that moment I was about to beg for it. I cleared my throat and swallowed as my mouth watered. I shook my head, trying to shake free of the dirty thoughts latching on to me. I was still reeling from the skin-to-skin contact and now this... this bump and grind that would've had me panting had I not been holding my breath.

"Cassie, don't forget to breathe," Seth said, reminding me the way Ethan had.

Leaning his face against the back of my head, he slowly slipped his hands down, unlatching the only thing holding my skirt up. It pooled at my feet, forgotten. I closed my eyes at the feel of Seth's calloused hands gripping the front of my thighs. My whole body was trembling, and the heat coursing through me made me feel like I was burning alive as he nudged my legs apart.

"Ethan, give me your hand," Seth demanded.

"What are you gonna do?" I asked, curiously looking down as their fingers connected.

Seth placed his cheek against mine and shushed me. The whisper of his breath against my face and the sound he made sent goose bumps down my arms. I shivered as I felt their combined hands move between my legs. My eyes widened and I watched Seth directing one of Ethan's fingers along the front of my underwear, right between the lips of my girl parts. My mouth fell open in a silent cry as I saw and then felt Ethan pushing his finger, with the cotton over it, into me. My knees buckled and had I not been between the two of them I would've fallen.

"Whoa," Ethan said, lifting his free hand to my hip to help Seth with the sudden dead weight I'd become.

"Better take this to the floor," Seth mumbled.

We maintained the same position we'd been it while standing up when we settled on the floor. Seth's fingers dug into my waist, pulling me back so my ass bumped his front continuously. Slowly, I lifted my eyes, biting my lip, to see Ethan devouring Seth with his eyes. Ethan focused on his face before dropping his gaze to his boyfriend's pulsing hips. With a burning blush, I bowed my head.

"Come closer," Seth said, beckoning Ethan forward.

I wasn't sure how much closer he could get, they were practically glued to me, but I wasn't going to complain. I glanced back up at Ethan, searching his face. When he saw me looking at him, he hesitated, the lust in his eyes dimming as he contemplated what he should do with his hands now. His uncertainly would've been adorable if I hadn't been feeling the same thing already.

Come on, Cass. He wanted boobs, we give him boobs. Besides, he's already touched there. Boobs are nothing! My mind pep talk wasn't great, but it seemed to give me enough of a boost.

I reached behind me, shoving my hand in between my back and Seth's chest, to unsnap my bra. I let the material slide down my arms as I thrust my chest forward. "Touch them."

The demand caused Ethan to glance down with surprise, as if he hadn't noticed my previous movements. He reached forward and poked my right breast with his index finger.

"D-did you just poke my boob? Really, Ethan?" I asked with exasperation and roughly reached for his dropping hand to put it back in place, only this time forcing him to cup the whole thing.

"It's so small," he mumbled, rubbing his palm up and down experimentally.

I scoffed, but it was impossible to remain completely immune to his fumbling curiosity. "Yes, we established that."

Ethan lifted his smiling eyes to me, the corner of his mouth twitching. "The truth hurts."

"Small enough to fit completely in your mouth," Seth said softly. I turned to see him eyeing my chest like he was a kid who had just entered a candy store where everything was free. "Small is fucking spectacular! Try it, Ethan."

"You always made fun of my flat chest," I mumbled at Seth. I didn't know how to feel about that spectacular comment.

Seth pushed my hair away from my ear and leaned in. His tongue darted out and he captured my earlobe before whispering in my ear, "Because every time I did it I always got to look at them." He paused and brought a free hand to the breast Ethan wasn't manhandling. The rough pad of Seth's thumb expertly tweaked my nipple and I had to bite my tongue to keep from making any noise. "God, Cass, you're gorgeous."

His heavy breathing of words against my ear made me shiver, but I didn't let that compliment go unrewarded because now I knew he was talking about me. My head turned and I captured his lips, but we both kept our eyes open. I watched him stare at me. His gaze was steady, burning me up with his need. His mouth moved against mine on instinct and then I pushed the tip of my tongue hesitantly against his soft lips. The long husky groan he let out tickled my lips. He closed his eyes and his hands reached up, cupping my face on either side.

Seth tried to capture my tongue, but I teased him by retreating. I gave a little giggle when I felt his mouth curve against mine at my 'stab-and-retreat' mischief. Finally, because I had to breathe, I pulled away, but not before giving him one last quick peck on his lips.

"Did you two forget about me?" Ethan asked with a pout. He was teasing, but I could hear the husky tone in his voice that hadn't been there before.

Did seeing Seth kiss me excite him? I stared up at Ethan through my lashes and saw that his cheeks were flushed, more than they had been.

Seth reached forward and clamped his hand against Ethan's bicep. "Babe, you're unforgettable. Now, do what I tell you to or I'll punish you."

I snorted as an image of Seth dressed as Sailor Moon popped into my mind at his choice of words. "It could work," I mumbled.

Seth slid his gaze to me. "Do I want to know?"

"Probably not," Ethan answered for me.

Seth licked his plump bottom lip. "Do you want to be punished, Cassie?"

I don't know why that surprised me, I knew how they liked experimenting, but it never registered that they might want to do it to me. It could've been the word 'punish', but it was mostly the intensely dark look that sparkled on Ethan's face. He wanted to play that game.

Clearing my throat, I spoke, "Maybe, but not for my first time. I'm adventurous, but there are things I'll have to ease into."

Ethan, with his demeanor changed, cautiously bent down and leaned forward. "We have time."

Not as much as you think. In vitro is just around the corner. The thought almost took me over, but I shook my head. Ethan and Seth didn't need to know about that, at least not yet.

When Ethan bent over me, my shoulders stiffened and I held my breath. Had he noticed the change in me? Did I give something away? Ethan was surprisingly empathetic with me. He always knew when something was wrong with me, even if I tried my best to hide it.

My lips parted as he shifted down and grazed his moistened lips against my nipple.

Oh.

Yes.

Please.

Ethan's eyes shifted, gauging my reaction as his tongue flicked my nipple. There was a mix of curiosity and mischievousness teasing behind his beautiful eyes, but there was something else there too. Need. Desire.

My arms darted out and pulled him towards me. My body took care of everything else as my hips gyrated up, causing my chest to move forward. Ethan's mouth widened over my breast with the movement and the sob came out before I could stop it. The warmth of his wet mouth, the gentle sucking, and his now exploring tongue had me shaking so hard I was pretty sure I could time travel.

"Cassie, you just, like, tackled him!" Seth said with a tiny chuckle. His hands slide up and down suggestively at my side. "You're shaking hard, babe." He ran his hands soothingly down my shoulders to my sides and then back up. "We've barely touched you."

"I swear, I'll be okay." I didn't recognize the lust ridden voice or the whimper that escaped as I reached wildly forward, clamping my hands behind Ethan's head instead of his shoulders. I could feel the small smile lifting the corners of his lips as swirled his tongue and opened his mouth wider. "Oh my God," I whimpered.

Ethan could fit my entire breast into his mouth, but as he retreated he let his teeth slide over the tender flesh. I collapsed against Seth, my head dropping to his shoulder as Ethan switched his attention to my other one.

I was so lost in Ethan's ministrations that I only noticed Seth's sliding hand after he'd nudged my legs apart. His fingertips stayed on the outlining of my panties, teasing, threatening to slip under the hem, then pulling back and repeating. Seth's other arm was wrapped around my stomach and his mouth was dusting open-mouthed kisses against my neck and under my ear. The muscles in my ass cheeks clenched and my thighs shook with impatience and need. I knew then that I couldn't wait.

Keeping one hand clamped behind Ethan's head, holding his mouth against me, I darted my free hand down. Grabbing Seth's wrist, I pushed his calloused hand over my panties and pressed down hard. My hips lifted at the pressure and Seth moved his hand beneath mine in circles.

I clenched my teeth together and turned my face into Seth's neck. The hoarse scratch to my voice as I tried to hold in my cries sounded foreign. I was so close. I could feel the knot in my belly tightening, the waves of heat shooting down my legs and around my groin. A little more pressure, a few more hip thrusts and I was gone, but that wasn't what Seth had in mind as he lifted his hand off. The whine that escaped barely had time to be voiced as he slipped a finger inside my panties to flick the tip against my clit.

Holy fuck!

"OhmyGodI'mcumming," I cried out. My voice cracked and my eyes rolled into the back of my head while my hips swiveled up. Seth's finger did a slip 'n slide between the lips of my pussy and I bit down on the only thing within my reach... the base of Seth's neck.

His shout of surprise sounded muffled to the ringing in my ears. My hand dropped from Ethan's head to dig into my thighs. Instead of Ethan pulling away, I could feel his feathery kisses trailing over my chest, against the side of each breast, down to my belly button and back up. When it was over, my body was still jerking from aftershocks, my chest heaving, my face flushed and the idea of getting up to get a glass of water came and went.

No way could I walk after that.

"I almost came with you," Seth mumbled against my cheek, brushing my hair out of my face.

He dropped his head against mine. I could feel his moist breath spreading against my cheek. My lips were inches away from the side of his neck which now sported teeth marks and red splotches. I placed a kiss against the marks, glad I hadn't broken skin, and offered a grunt in response. I could still feel Ethan trailing kisses all over me.

"Hmm, I can't wait to give you a real orgasm," Seth said, continuing to rub his cheek against mine.

I exhaled a whoosh of air and inhaled, wondering what he thought a real orgasm actually was. By my standards, it was the best orgasm I'd ever had. I don't think I could handle anything harder.

Ethan smirked against my shoulder and responded like he could read my thoughts. "That was a gratification orgasm, a surface one really. I admit that it will be interesting to see you have a longer, deeper one."

Long? Deep? Oh fuck!


	6. It has to be special

If I was a man I’d be dying right now.

I’d heard the term ‘blue balls’ before and never really understood it until I told Ethan what I really wanted to do to him after that delightful surface orgasm they’d given me. After a little more touch-play-tease I’d been revved up again and ready to go another round but, in the end, Ethan decided it was all going a little too fast for him. It would’ve been super hot if he had stiffened up the right way, but instead he called it a night and gave a ‘we’ll do some more tomorrow’ spiel. I’d been mortified—worried that I might have said something a little too obscene—and sexually frustrated. Not even my beloved Rabbit could do the trick when I got home, and taking a cold shower was a total myth.

Maybe it works for guys, but not me!

Instead of being hot and wet, I was cold and wet. The erotic dream that followed that night made it even worse the next morning, which happened to be a full day of classes for me.

Mondays suck. Being a virgin sucks. Blue balls suck…

“I wonder what it’s called for a girl?” I whispered to myself.

Not that it mattered. Nothing mattered anymore, well, except that it was the end of the school day, and I didn’t have to work at The Coffee Barn tonight. Oh, and maybe getting to have another orgasm too. That’d be nice. Until last night, I’d never had Rabbit be so useless.

Ethan and Seth have ruined me!

“Cassie!” Seth hollered down the hallway, jogging towards me.

Growling under my breath, I clutched my school books to my chest and darted towards my locker. I banged it open and tossed my homework into my pink and black backpack. Quickly swinging the strap onto my shoulder, I slammed the door shut, grabbed my lock, and turned in the opposite direction Seth was coming in.

“Hey, Cass, don’t be mad at me. Last night was all Ethan’s doing. I was ready and willing!” Seth shouted just as loudly.

I flipped around, my eyes wide with disbelief. I could feel my chest starting to splotch red with embarrassment. “Gee, could you say it any louder?”

Seth paused in front of me and his face scrunched up as he rubbed the back of his neck. “Uh, what could I say louder?”

“That I’m a big ho? Or, here’s a good one, that I wanna be a cum bucket!” I whispered harshly.

His shout of laughter echoed in the emptying halls and his shoulders shook. “I. Love it. When you. Talk dirty. To me,” Seth gasped out through hiccups of laughter.

I sneered at him. “Ethan doesn’t seem to like. Jerk. What do you want?”

“Ethan wants you to come—” he stopped and sputtered like a broken down car, his shoulders shaking harder than ever.

My fingers itched to take a swipe at his face. “Oh, you’re fucking funny, Seth!”

He calmed himself down enough to take a step forward and bow over me. He leaned his forearm against the locker next to my head and brought his face close to mine. “Babe, I was so ready last night. Anytime you want, you can tell me what you want to do to me.”

I settled against the locker, feeling my anger dissipate, and I bowed my head trying to keep my lower lip from trembling. “You liked it. Why didn’t Ethan? Don’t you guys talk dirty to each other?”

“Cassie,” Seth whispered and lifted my chin up. “He liked it a little too much. He didn’t know how to handle his body’s reaction. He’s never been sexually attracted to a female before and it’s you he had the reaction to. When he does this, as you said, he’ll be losing his girl virginity too. And it’s you, Cass, you’re special to him, you always have been. You’re not just some lay to him, which is part of it, but I think it’s something else.”

“What else could it be?”

Seth frowned and scratched at the side of his head. “He’s naturally submissive in the bedroom, but I think he wants—maybe ‘desires’ is a better word—to be your dominant. If that’s the case, then he’s got three things going against him. He’s never been with a girl, he’s never been dominant in the bedroom, and he’s fighting the fear that if something goes wrong he might lose his best friend. I think he really does look at this like a normal girl would.”

I scowled and slapped a hand to my chest, giving Seth my best ‘what the hell’ look. “Are you saying I’m not normal?”

Seth nodded. “Exactly.”

No point in arguing.

I slumped my shoulders and pouted. “So Ethan wants the process of him losing his girl virginity to be special?”

He nodded again.

“You gotta be kidding me! I’m horny. This is not fair! I’m the woman in this situation. If I’m okay with it, he should be too!”

Seth smiled widely and brought his hands forward to cup my face. He dropped his forehead to mine and placed a quick kiss against my nose before brushing away bits of my hair. “See, you’re not normal. I love that!”

I rolled my eyes. “So what does Ethan want?”

“He wants you to come to his football practice.”

“I would rather die!”

“Aw, don’t be that way. What if I promise to push Ethan a little further tonight?”

“Tell him to shove his ‘losing-my-girl-virginity-needs-to-be-special’ idea up his ass!”

Seth’s mouth twitched. “Think about what you just said.”

Oh no. He got me.

I clamped my teeth down over my bottom lip and folded my arms across my chest. “It’s not funny.”

Ten minutes later, I was sprawled on the bleachers watching Ethan’s practice, and laughing so hard I couldn’t breathe. When practice finished and Ethan trotted over I tried to give him the stink face, but it became harder the closer he got. It wasn’t the way he held his helmet or that his hair clung to his forehead or even that he tore off his sweat soaked jersey either… well maybe it was that.

He stopped in front of me, shifting from foot to foot and holding his helmet with two hands. He cleared his throat. “Hey,” he said, biting his lip.

I lifted my chin and looked past him. I wasn’t going to say the awkward ‘hey’ back. He could just stuff it.

“Cassie,” he drawled my name out. “Please, don’t be mad at me. It didn’t feel right.”

“Couldn’t you have figured that out after giving me another orgasm? I would never do that to anyone—build them up only to stop right in the middle? It’s horrible! We’re doing this tonight. At your place, obviously…” I trailed off.

The benefit of having parents with money resulted in living in a high end apartment at the University. Of course, Ethan always had an eye for money and investments. He even taught a class on it, though he refused to take the real teacher’s—the one who is supposed to be teaching the class—pay. The desire to invest is how he met Seth too. As for me, I lived on the extra cheap side of town, where one bed, a microwave with a short, cold showers, and cockroach infestations were normal. Hence why it was ‘obviously’ going to go down at Ethan’s.

“I bought condoms, and um-” I paused to tuck my hair behind my ears, “I’ve been on birth control for awhile so…”

It’s happening again. I’m thinking about Frankie and Ed.

Thinking about where I lived compared to Ethan’s place made me remember stuff I didn’t want to remember. I’d gotten a pretty raw deal in the parent department so I was used to those types of living situations, but still. My biological parents were killed in a car crash when I was a baby. I was lucky enough to get adopted by a caring couple soon after, hence why I was able to grow up with Ethan and have a normal childhood.

“Ooh, I hope you got cherry flavored!” Seth said, wiggling his eyebrows.

“Cassie? Are you okay?” Ethan asked, touching my shoulder to get my attention. I smiled and nodded. He didn’t need to know that my train of thought had gone from one serious thing to another.

Francine—Frankie as she used to be called by her best friend, Ethan’s mom—and Ed, my adopted parents, unfortunately drew an unlucky fate card for themselves as well. Frankie got diagnosed with Stage IV Pancreatic Cancer. As a social worker, she’d always been a fighter so it was no surprise she lasted for as long as she did. When it happened, I experienced my first real heartbreak. At thirteen, I’d lost the light of my life and Ed lost the love of his. Ed never really bounced back. In fact, to this day I’m certain the heart complication that took his life—labeled as inconclusive—two years later was due to a broken heart.

If it hadn’t been for Mickey, Ethan’s father, who was a very well known and successful lawyer at the time—he was a well respected judge now— I would’ve been stuck back in the system. Mick had brought up the idea of adopting me, but Jeanine, Ethan’s mother, wouldn’t have it. She said the only way she wanted me to be related to them is if I was going to be their daughter-in-law. Jeanie always found ways to throw the two of us together, honestly she was super lucky Ethan and I got along so well. I think she and Frankie had plans from the beginning. Once, I even saw a wedding book with photo manipulations of Ethan, me, and what our children would look like. If I didn’t love her so much I’d think she was a bit crazy. This was probably another reason why Ethan didn’t have the heart to come out to his parents.

So Mick helped me file for emancipation. Financially speaking, they helped me out way too much. Frankie and Ed’s life insurance policies had gone to burying them and hospital bills, so it wasn’t that they hadn’t planned for me it was that they hadn’t planned for Frankie’s sickness. When I turned seventeen I decided to financially cut ties with Ethan’s parents and started paying for my own things, like my crappy apartment. I just had to deal with it until I graduated college.

“You look awfully sexy in sweat,” I said with an absent minded chuckle, running my fingers down Ethan’s abs.

He danced away from my tickling finger tips, laughing nervously. “This is gonna take some getting used to.”

“Why?” I asked. “I’ve always talked to you like this.”

“Yeah, but now I know you mean it, like, that way, you know?” He rubbed the back of his neck and glanced over at Seth who was smirking at the both of us.

“How about we just do a little tonight? I mean—”

My ears perked and I dragged myself out of my thoughts. “Well, how much time do you need?” I asked.

“Why are you so impatient?”

I inhaled sharply. I had to tell him. He was going to find out sooner or later. Plus, he wasn’t the only one needing to get used to the idea of me talking dirty to him out loud. I could say it in my head no problem, but I wasn’t about to let my lily white purity keep me from voicing those thoughts either. “Rabbit isn’t cutting it.”

Seth scratched the back of his head. “What is ‘Rabbit’?”

Ethan groaned and dropped his face into his hands. “It’s her bullet.”

“You named your toy?”

I shrugged. “Doesn’t everyone?”

Seth raised an eyebrow. “Not really, no. Only the crazy ones.”

“Just get a new one,” Ethan suggested.

I rolled my eyes. “I didn’t break it. It still runs! It’s just not enough after last night.”

“It didn’t work for one night?” Ethan paused, looking baffled. “What’s the big deal?”

“Hey! Hey! I won’t take that attitude from someone who gets the real thing all the time. I happen to have a good amount of stress in my life and one night without makes me cranky. If you wanted to stop you should’ve stopped after my first orgasm,” I said with a growl, and pointed my thumb over at Seth. “And from what I hear, Seth puts out three times a day!” I lifted my hands and weighed my option versus his option. “Going home to cold metal or warm flesh… you don’t need to guess which one wins.”

“Can’t argue with that logic,” Seth said, stepping off the bleachers and offering his hand to me. “Shall we?”

I slapped my hand into his with a grin. “We shall!” I patted the straps of my book bag. “I’ve got my newly acquired goodies here. Do you know how awkward it was buying this?”

“What are we talkin’ about?” Ethan asked, stepping in line with Seth and me as we walked through the football field.

“Condoms!” I said, loud enough that a few of Ethan’s straggling team mates hooted and hollered. I cleared my throat and hid my face as we walked by them. “Oops.”

Seth chuckled and wrapped his arm around my neck, choke holding me more than hugging me.

“I hope you didn’t just get one box.”

I raised my eyebrow. “I did. This stuff ain’t cheap, ya know!”

Seth shrugged and kissed me on my temple. “That’s okay. We’ll stop by on the way home and get more.”


	7. Serious Foreplay

I’d given my warning, we were doing this tonight but apparently diving in wasn't going to work for Ethan. So I let him make me a sandwich while we watched a newer episode of Supernatural where I tried to be a good sport and pointed out that the actors where supernatural themselves because they didn’t age. Sometime during the middle of it I must’ve fallen asleep and the couch was where they’d left me.

The cowards!

“Can’t deal with one horny girl,” I muttered, shaking my head in disgust as I walked towards Ethan’s room.

"Okay, so what do I do?" I overheard Ethan asking Seth as I peeked through the crack in the bedroom door.

I rolled my eyes as Seth gave him a pep talk about—French kissing where? My interest was piqued as I walked in and lifted my shirt. They could talk and I could get naked. I was ready to be Ethan’s cunnilingus practice doll, but as I tossed my shirt to the side and dropped my pants I felt uncomfortably exposed. I hesitated and settled a hand over my stomach to calm it as I argued with the bitch in my head trying to destroy my self-esteem. The heat emanating between my wobbling legs won out. I wanted this, but I needed it more. What happened the other day wouldn’t be the end of my story today.

My dropped to my underwear, but paused. It was the only place Seth and Ethan hadn't seen yet, well not fully. Touching and seeing, hell probably inspecting in Ethan’s case, was a different story. I exhaled. Shaking my head, I decided to leave my light blue boy short underwear on.

Even with me standing almost directly behind them, they were so into their ‘this is how you do it’ pep talk that they were oblivious to me. They sat on the bed, with Seth leaning towards Ethan, his arm around his shoulder. They were huddled, whispering to each other about other things that Ethan needed or could to do to me. I couldn't hear them word-for-word, but what I did hear sounded good to me.

I leapt on the bed just behind them, giggling a little as I bounced, but still they didn't notice. Frowning, I turned on to my stomach and propped my chin up on my arm as I watched them. "Yap, yap, yap," I mumbled around a yawn.

I'm gonna die a virgin, I thought, yawning again and closed my eyes, partially wanting to get back to the cat nap I’d had on the couch. Well, if the in vitro doesn’t work on me anyhow.

Warm lips and a trail of wetness down the slope of my back made my eyes pop open. A heavy weight settled against me, pushing me into the bed. Muscular arms wrapped around me, pulling my upper body up just enough so that I wouldn't suffocate in the pillow. My bare back met hot skin and I shivered. I turned my head just in time to see Seth bending over me, trailing kisses on my shoulder blades and grinding his jean clad hips against my panty covered bottom.

An unintelligible grunt forced its way out of my mouth and I wiggled against his front, wanting more, yet slightly dazed from that cat nap I’d fallen back into.

Seth gave a pleased hum against my scapula before scrapping his teeth over the bone. "You fell asleep again," his deep, husky voice whispered against the wet spot he'd made.

I bit my lip, turning my head so I could see him better. "Are you gonna punish me?" I asked softly, a spark of excitement fluttering in my groin. “Or maybe I should punish the both of you for leaving me asleep on the couch.”

Seth's appreciative chuckle made my belly burn with need. He gave a gentle smack to the side of my ass cheek and I yelped with surprise. "We have other plans right now. Punishment can be dolled out another time."

We... I turned my head and saw Ethan watching us. "Hey."

He smiled and settled on the bed next to us on his side. "Hey."

"Are you ready?"

Ethan reached a hand forward and smoothed my hair out of my face. "I feel like I should be asking you that."

"I was born ready. Well, kind of," I paused to frown, but rolled my eyes and tilted back to give Seth's wandering mouth access to my neck. "Kiss me, Ethan."

Seth circled his hips and ground against me the minute Ethan touched his lips to mine. Ethan hesitantly presented his tongue to me and I licked it before capturing and sucking on it. He pulled away, teasing. His green eyes sparked with mischief as his gaze darted to Seth and he bent forward to lick the tip of my nose before averting his attention lower. With his pointer finger, Ethan traced circles down my side. The tip of his fingernail caused chills to spread over my body as he lazily went up and down.

“Let’s get started,” Seth said. He bit the nape of my neck gently before lifting off of me and helping me turn onto my back.

Ethan remained on his side, his head cradled in his hand. I was so close to him that his hot breath fanned over my chest and shivered, waiting for him to do something. The corner of his mouth lifted in a half smile. He licked his bottom lip and exhaled as he shifted over me. His arms fell to either side of my head, holding him up over me. I spread my legs apart, making room for him as he settled on top of me. I tilted my hips upwards, bumping my panty covered mound against his jean covered— nothing. I frowned and moved my hands between us, making quick work of his button and zipper.

“What are you doing?” Ethan asked, glancing down at my hands, clearly puzzled.

“You’re not excited,” I said.

Ethan frowned. “Says who?”

“Ah, hello!” I made it a point to glance down. “Wake Mister Happy up.”

Ethan pulled away. “Mister what? No. Just stop. Don’t give him a name!”

I pursed my lips to the side. “Sir Cum A Lot? I mean, Ethan Jr. just has no spark; it has to be something spiffy. Oh, I know—pft,” my words were cut off by Ethan’s hand slamming over my mouth.

“Please, just stop,” he whispered as he slowly started sliding his body down mine, his green eyes never leaving mine and darkening with something I didn’t recognize the longer we kept eye contact.

I tried asking what he was doing, but it came out a mumbled mess against his hand. Lifting my hand I pulled at his wrist, trying to remove his hand from my mouth, but Ethan lifted a challenging eyebrow.

“Are you gonna be a good girl, Cassie?” Ethan asked, his voice sounding almost sinister.

My eyes darted towards Seth to see what was going on, but Seth was settled back against the headboard, eyeing Ethan with unadulterated lust. His hands were moving restlessly at his sides. And while Ethan wasn’t ‘happy’ Seth definitely was.

“Don’t look at him. Look at me! Are you going to be a good girl?” Ethan’s voice demanded obedience, but there was a tremor of challenge directed at me, almost like he wanted me to say no, but I nodded my head slowly.

“Can I ask something?” I asked warily once Ethan had taken his hand from my mouth. I waited for a small nod before I continued. “Is this—” I paused and made a gesture between us, “what you meant, Seth… about what you said earlier?”

“Hell yes! Man, I was hoping for this. Ethan, baby, you are so fucking hot right now,” Seth practically panted as he lifted his hips and shucked his pants off.

Commando!

“Lordy,” I said, feeling dazed at the length and width of his cock bouncing free. I exhaled with my lips pursed together, making an almost whistling noise. “You’re beautiful, Seth.”

Seth’s eyes widened and he stared at me, startled. His olive colored skin presenting a hint of blush at my comment. He shook off his surprise, gave a chuckle, and rubbed the back of his neck. “Why do you always say such weird stuff?” he asked.

“How is that weird?”

“It wouldn’t be weird if you said you wanted my hard cock, or if I was fucking sexy, but I mean, beautiful?”

I shrugged my naked shoulders. “I say what I mean. You should know that by now, Seth.” Biting my bottom lip, I tilted my head so that my face turned towards Seth instead of facing forward. “Will you kiss me, you beautiful man?”

Seth gave a crooked half-laugh smile, clearly uneasy by my comment.

“I’m serious,” I whispered.

Seth swallowed, his face shifting to a serious curiosity as he stared at me. He licked his lips and leaned towards me, placing a gentle kiss against my mouth. When he pulled his lips away, I let out a little whine, but he didn’t move away. He remained within an inch of my face, his eyes searching my face, looking for something.

“Seth,” Ethan’s whispered voice caressed my stomach as he spoke, “she’s not going to say something hurtful now. We’ve been working on this, remember? Stop waiting for the other ball to drop. Not everyone is like your father.”

Seth didn’t seem to hear Ethan, at least that was my first thought as he continued to try and read something in my face. It was like he wanted to find that ball and catch it—prepare himself for whatever it was—so that it wouldn’t hurt as much.

I didn’t know much about Seth’s past, but I did know it hadn’t been healthy. There’d been a lot of mental, physical, and, though he never admitted to it, Ethan believed there had also been some sexual abuse. My heart hurt for Seth now and ached for the scared little boy he’d been. I didn’t have my biological parents and while the first six years of my life had been no cake-walk it all faded to the background once I’d been adopted by such loving people. I’d had spurts of unconditional love throughout my life. Had Seth?

My hands darted out to cup his face and I pulled him back into me, kissing him with every fiber of my being. It wasn’t possible, but I would still try to wipe away all those dark areas from his past. My sudden need to protect him from the baddies of the world hit me by surprise, but instead of hiding away from it, I deepened the kiss, tapping the tip of my tongue against his lips, asking for permission. When he opened his mouth, I moaned in appreciation.

The kiss wasn’t long, but it had so much emotion in it that when we pulled away we could barely look at each other. So we both looked at Ethan, our tether, the rock that kept the two kids from the wrong side of the block from breaking.

Ethan’s chin was settled against my stomach as he watched us turn towards him, a crooked, content smile covering his face. The atmosphere was making me uneasy. Too much seriousness was bad for the libido and if I wanted to be deflowered by the end of the night I had to change it.

"So, Ethan, are you gonna eat me out now?"

Seth's shout of laughter startled me and I tore my gaze from the horrified look on Ethan's face to watch the golden skinned beauty before me. His hearty laughter continued even when he raised a questioning eyebrow in Ethan's direction. 

"Did you have to say it that way?" Ethan asked. 

I cleared my throat. "I'm sorry. Ethan, I am fully prepared to be your cunnilingus practice doll."

The deep growl that came from Ethan made me bite my lip with anticipation. He pushed his face into my belly, rubbing against me like a cat needing a cuddle, and inhaled. When I felt his wet tongue dart out and circle my belly button my eyelashes fluttered against my cheek. 

"Oh, Ethan," I whispered, my hands clutching at the sheets beneath me. "Please."

He lifted his mouth from my stomach to speak. "Please what?"

"Please, do something." My voice sounded foreign even to me, husky and needy.

Ethan shot me an amused grin that made me want to bite those plump, 'I'm-getting-away-with-something' lips of his. "I am doing something."

Seth chuckled and tucked his face into my neck. He darted his tongue out and licked the auricle of my ear. “Maybe if you were more specific,” Seth whispered. The moist heat from his whispered words caused strands of my hair to cling to the column of my throat.

“Are you asking me to talk dirty?” I asked curiously. “You know, last time I did that Ethan clammed up on me and I found out just how much cold showers do not work for the female party. And look what just happened a little bit ago! So if that’s what you’re—”

Seth swooped down and placed a quick, chaste kiss against my lips. “That’s what I’m saying. I promise Ethan will be fine this time. Won’t you, Babe?”

Ethan’s confirming nod didn’t match his furrowing brows. “Sure. Yeah—” he paused to clear his throat, his teasing caresses against my midriff completely stopping.

“Wow. Talk about a confidence boost, Ethan,” I said.

Ethan offered a sheepish grin and rubbed the back of his neck. “You know, Cass, I just—I’m just not used to you talking like that to me.”

�I rolled my eyes and pushed myself up on my elbows so I could look at him better. "Well, maybe you should get used to it. You guys bring out the nymph in me!"

"Nymph?" Seth asked. 

Ethan shook his head, a small smile playing across his lips. "I think she meant nympho, not the beautiful woodland creature that dances around trees in the woods."

I frowned. "There are beautiful creatures that dance around trees in the woods? Are they nymphomaniacs too? Maybe we can join them..."

"Okay, Miss I-can-take-on-everyone, how about just settling for the both of us?" Ethan asked as he shifted his upper body down so that his lips hovered above my hip bone.

My breath caught again. "I can do that," I whispered.


	8. Bang-lish [1/2]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Cheeriant for the review! I really appreciate it!

I felt the tickling of my eyelashes fluttering against my cheeks and the burn on my lower lip as I bit down hard.

"I can't get comfortable with you moving like that," Ethan spoke softly.

I stilled my gyrating hips instantly, not realizing I’d even been moving. It wasn’t easy either. Every time he breathed against me, my heart felt like it was trying to escape through my rib cage and my thighs trembled to keep from clenching around his head. He hadn’t even removed my underwear yet. If this continued, anticipation would be the culprit that killed me.

I watched as Seth moved towards Ethan, the subtle crisp pine scent of his cologne making me wiggle slightly in pleasure as he passed by like a feline about to pounce. He slipped his hand through Ethan’s rumpled golden hair as he continued onwards. I pushed myself up; wanting to see where it was Seth was going and almost fell back down from my trembling. I managed to lock my elbows before falling and tilted my head to the side, my eyes following Seth as he straddled Ethan’s lower back. Ethan’s jaw clenched and he almost shut his eyes at the added weight against him. The position was surprisingly pleasant, Ethan’s head between my thighs and Seth straddling Ethan’s ass. I let out a breath and cautiously reached forward, touching the back of Ethan’s head and applying just enough pressure to get him to focus again on me.

He smiled up at me and placed a kiss over my underwear. When his tongue dipped into the material, pushing between the folds of my pussy lips, my eyes crossed.

“Oh God,” I whimpered, but resisted the urge to close my eyes. I wanted to see what Seth was going to do to Ethan.

When Seth made a wiggling motion, Ethan dropped his flushed, burning cheek against my inner thigh, his hot breathing making me ache with need. He slid his arms beneath my hips and the bed, and held me tight, hugging me. His mewling and gentle jerking caused vibrations that hit my core and made me too curious. I had to ask. I needed to know.

“What are you doing?” I asked Seth as he reached for the back of Ethan’s head.

I inhaled sharply as Seth shifted Ethan’s face so that his mouth was hovering above my panties. My elbows shook, but I managed to stay upright. I glanced down the small space between my body and Ethan’s, watching Seth’s hand stroking Ethan’s hair while still applying enough pressure so that his nose rested against me. When Ethan stayed still, I watch Seth’s nimble fingers tugging at Ethan’s jeans.

“Just taking his pants off,” Seth said, with a teasing wolf-like grin aimed at me, but then his gaze shifted to Ethan’s bare back and his grin turned almost sinister. “Remember Ethan, if you stop, I stop.”

Ethan bared his teeth in a growl that vibrated against me. Whatever it was Seth was doing, Ethan was fully enjoying it. I couldn’t help the niggling need making its way through my body, demanding I get a better view so I could watch them, but as I went to move, Ethan’s hands grabbed my upper thighs so tightly his fingernails dug into me. I cringed slightly, but remained still as he pushed me open more and pushed the tiny cloth of my underwear aside.

"It's a lot like a French kiss," Seth said in a gentle whisper against Ethan’s ear.

Ethan snorted. “I’m not completely stupid.”

“What?” I asked, suddenly having trouble breathing. I’d been so involved with the subtle movements Seth was making against Ethan and, of course, his mouth so close to my lady parts that I hadn’t noticed they’d been talking.

“Then what’s the hold up?” Seth asked, ignoring my breathy question.

Ethan turned his head, letting the corner of his mouth play up into a smirk, but he didn’t say anything as he lifted my legs up and rested them against his wide shoulders. “Whoa,” I said, shivering from the contact.

I swallowed holding my breath with anticipation as his mouth hovered, but he didn’t move. The smirk on his face as his eyes darted up did me in. I collapsed and my upper body dropped against the warming sheets like a ragdoll. I spread my arms out on either side of me in limped disbelief.

I couldn’t believe it. What a douche! “Would you stop teasing me?”

“This isn’t teasing. If I was really teasing, I’d start from the top and work my way down again,” Ethan said. “Hmm, sounds like a good idea now that I think about it. It’ll be a punishment of sorts, for your impatience.”

It took a second for that warning to sink in, but when it did my hands shot forward, clutching Ethan’s hair. “No! Please. Ethan. I won’t be impatient anymore. I’ll be good. Just…” I paused and gritted my teeth and pushed my hand into my stomach. “Please.”

“Hmm, Ethan, you’re teasing me too. I’ve dreamed about this moment and you are spreading it out. If you’re gonna continue being such a naughty boy, I’ll have to go get the whip.”

Oh fuck. I was over stimulated, so while I still made a show of begging I knew my body was thankful for the rest after the large electric jolt shot threw me from Seth’s warning. I wanted to see them in their element. The image started a chain reaction and a wild fire of burning seared through me. I needed Ethan’s mouth on me and his tongue inside me. I lifted my head to give them a pleading, lost look. Starting from the beginning would kill me for sure. It was just cruel unusual punishment at this point.

“I think you can take pity on her, Ethan. Just remember, Cassie, when it’s your turn to give him a blow job not to just dive in. Tease him mercilessly,” Seth said.

A wet heat flooded between my legs and I bit my lip as it dripped down. Giving a man a blowjob had been the better part of my fantasies, which usually involved him sitting on my chest, and the idea that I might be able to try it soon lit my core even more.

I nodded furiously. “Yeah, when it’s my turn to blow you I’m gonna make you suffer so bad-” My warning cut off as I felt the tip of Ethan’s wet tongue dart between my hot swollen pussy lips. When he pulled away I almost sobbed from the loss. “God, yes, that’s what I want!”

“It’s not about the suffering,” Ethan said softly, sounding slightly miffed. “I wouldn’t make you suffer, Cassie.”

Yeah right!

“Ethan…” The dramatic drawling of his name from Seth pushed Ethan forward. Or rather Seth pushed Ethan’s head down further between my legs once again.

And suddenly, as he placed gentle, sucking kisses against me, I felt like I was in the middle of running a marathon. My chest was heaving from exertion that hadn’t happened. And I had no clue what to do with my hands. So I settled them lower on my stomach than they had been, making the tips of my fingers brush against the curve of my Heart Attack cut.

“Watch her,” Seth said. He spoke with such husky force and volume that it startled a tiny yelp out of me and caused my thighs to tighten around Ethan’s head.

I quickly slackened the pressure and glanced down worriedly, knowing my face was red like blood and spreading down to my chest. “Sorry,” I whispered.

He didn’t bother with a response as he thrust his face into me so that his tongue could slip through the wet folds and his nose could bump against my clit. ‘More’ was the only thought in my mind as my eyes rolled to the back of my head and I struggled to stay still. I pushed my palms down and up, letting the pressure intensify the feeling of him licking me.

My hand lifted of its own accord, leaving its mate behind still resting on my hip, applying pressure, and before I knew what I was doing, I dropped it on top of his soft, fluffy hair. That very hair was currently tickling the insides of my thighs as he literally started French kissing me between my legs.

He had to be a pro. He had to be. It wouldn’t feel so fucking good otherwise. My hand clenched in his hair as his nose hit my clit again. A muffled whimper vibrated in my throat as he did it again, causing my hips to pump forward.

“That’s it.” Seth voice was so much deeper than before that my eyes popped open and I lifted my head to watch them. “Oh fuck, do you see it in her eyes? She’s feeling it.”

I wanted to talk dirty too. I loved it and Seth’s words had a slew of them forming in my head, but I couldn’t get the breath to say any of them. All I could do was bite my lip and pant like a bitch in heat. The faint smell of musk and sex only seemed to get me hotter, and I couldn’t tell if it was the scent or the sound of him sucking my clit that really did me in. I caved and lifted my other hand to his head, trying not to grip his hair too tightly.

I screamed when he pulled away and pushed his tongue inside me. How I had the lung capacity to scream was beyond me because my chest was burning from the lack of oxygen. I could not catch my breath. It wasn’t helping that Ethan would flatten his tongue out inside me then switch to a darting spear.

“Your hand!” It was all I could manage and thankfully Ethan understood. He kept his tongue pushing in and out of me, but lifted his hand, managing to part my lips so that he could rub my clit with his thumb.

My neck arched backwards and my mouth dropped open wanting to emit the scream that was threatening to escape, but no sound came out. My stomach and hips rippled, almost like I was belly dancing against Ethan’s mouth, all the while pulling him closer.

“That’s so fucking hot,” Seth growled and before I knew it, he left Ethan and crawled to me, swooping down, capturing my lips in a smoldering kiss. My eyes widened and my back arched instinctually, pushing my head up, so that I could kiss him deeper.

I darted my tongue out, touching the tip of it to his, only to have him grunt in approval. His hands came up, cupping my head, and pulling up at the same time so that my breasts brushed against his chest. Seth was literally lifting me off the bed, so I slipped up Ethan’s face. I muffled my protests against Seth, but stopped when Ethan followed my hips. His hands slipped under my ass, pulling me tighter into his face as he sucked and thrust at the same time.

I was suffocating, breathing so heavily I couldn’t see how the kiss had managed to last so long. I had to breathe, so I jerked my head away. He let me pull my lips from his face, but Seth held me close still. His warm breath came in short staccatos against my cheek as he watched me, his forehead resting against mine. The swiveling in my hips was frantic in an attempt to orgasm. It was to the point where I couldn’t decide if it was Ethan fucking me with his tongue, or me fucking his tongue.

Seth, still holding my head in place, forced me to make eye contact with him as he brushed his nose against mine, “Are you close?” he asked, his hot, peppermint tinted breath spreading across my cheek. I captured his deliciously flavored tongue and sucked before pulling away with a quick kiss to his lips, letting out a breathless sigh as an affirmative.

At least, I thought it was close, but it was just out of my grasp. I felt like I was losing my mind and my back started to ache from all the arching it was doing. Eventually, I slipped out of Seth’s clutches, falling against the bed. I noticed, as I was falling, that Ethan had been staring at us, and his eyes followed as I fell.

I could feel my frustration festering. I was so close, but I needed more. “Seth. Touch me,” I said, pulling a hand from Ethan’s head to guide Seth’s hand to one of my breasts.

He didn’t hesitate and when his calloused fingers tweaked my nipple I knew it wouldn’t be much longer. I felt I couldn’t stand it anymore, but then my eyes slammed shut when I felt the wetness of Seth’s tongue as he replaced his teasing fingers with his mouth. One swipe, two, three and time seemed to freeze as the knot that had built in my lower back snapped. I shouted out with surprise, my voice hoarse from a lack of water and air.

This wasn’t the surprisingly gentle surface orgasm I’d had earlier either. This one was deep. So powerful, in fact, that my entire body shook like I was having an epileptic seizure. My hips were rolling wildly up, straining to get every last bit of its exquisiteness. I gripped Ethan’s hair, pulling him, pushing him harder into me as I rode his thrusting tongue. Oh my God and fuck, fuck, fuck, were the mantras flowing off my tongue. I didn’t have time for anything else. My hips were wild beneath him and his hands, which had been gripping my ass, had to slide up around my thighs, onto my midriff to hold me down because I wasn’t just riding his tongue anymore, but his face.

And it was still coming.

I frantically folded my thighs around the back of Ethan’s neck, locking my feet together. With my thighs and hands keeping him in place as I fucked his face, another scream erupted from my mouth as the orgasm wrecked havoc on my system.

“Oh my fucking God!”

I squealed as it shot through me, my thighs clenching against Ethan’s ears. His fingers dug into my ass, slipped up towards my thighs again, and jerked away to breathe. Ethan pushed against the pressure my hands were exerting on his head and managed to fully pull away, inhaling sharply. The massive breath he took released, puffing air against my already sensitive area. It was enough to make me cry out desperately from the additional stimulation and my hips jerked up one last time, knocking into his chin, before dropping to the bed

Shivering deeply, I was gasping for breath, while my whole body continued to twitch. All I could think, as the seemingly never ending aftershocks jolted through me, was that if I could just get to my side I’d be able to calm down. I managed somehow to do just that, my back facing Ethan and Seth, as I lifted my legs from Ethan’s shoulders and curled my knees up into my chest wrapping my arms around them, holding them tightly to me. I released a hoarse whine as another wave, not as powerful as the first, but enough to make me think it was never going to end, shot through me.

“Cassie?”

It was Ethan, but I shook my head. There was no way I could explain as whimpers spilled from my mouth and then someone touched me. “Shit,” I said, crying out as the touch ignited sparks along my extremely sensitive skin. “Please don’t touch me. I can’t stop…” My whisper cut off and I clenched my thighs tightly together. I could just imagine the picture I made, curled in a ball, wiggling as I gasped, moaned, and panted from a this pleasure trip.

“Damn. I knew your tongue was amazing, but now I’m pretty sure it’s graduated to fucking spectacular,” Seth said, his voice tinged with admiration. “First time I’ve seen such a hard orgasm outside of a porno.” I heard a back slap before the edges of my vision seemed to be shifting from bright fireworks to dying stars.

I felt like warm jell-o when Ethan bent down to lift me to his chest. I hummed in satisfaction, wrapping my arms around his neck and pointing the tips of my toes as I smiled brightly up at him.

He shook his head, a playful smirk touching his lips as he hugged me to his chest. “I gather you enjoyed that.”

I snorted and wiggled my head. “Well, you gathered correctly. Are you sure you haven’t done that before? My goodness…”

“I’m sure. How do you feel?” Ethan asked.

I’d never felt better or so alive. My body felt loose, relaxed—sluggish even—and I laughed my happiness. “My body is vibrating still!” I turned my head to look at Ethan. “It was so amazing, Ethan.” I whispered and leaned forward to kiss him gently, desperately wanting to show him my gratitude. “Thank you.”

Ethan lowered me to the bed as Seth took his position once again behind Ethan. Seth loomed over him like a dark genie come to grant me wishes. I bit my bottom lip with anticipation. 

It was time.

“Are you ready?” Ethan whispered against my lips.

I raised an eyebrow. “Are you?”


	9. List-less

“No,” Ethan said, shaking his head. His rumpled hair shook into his green eyes, and he pulled back from me with a deep frown. “This is why we stopped the last time. I-”

Fuckery! Why couldn’t I just keep my mouth shut?

“Why not?” I asked with a pout, folding my arms across my chest.

“Cassie, I am not sitting on your chest so you can 'suck me off,'" Ethan said air-quoting the last words I'd said. "I thought we were going to have intercourse here. Isn’t that the point?”

I snorted. “Intercourse... yes, we are, but we can still explore.”

Especially if, once it was all said, done, and popped, we wouldn't be doing this again. I had a list I had to meet.

Ethan scowled down at me as Seth rubbed the back of his neck, still blinking in surprise from my request. It wasn’t easy surprising Seth, but now that I’d done it, I found myself wanting to do it more. In reality, neither of them should be shocked really. It wasn’t the first time I’d requested something out of the box and it wouldn’t be the last.

“Maybe that’s something we can build up to,” Seth said.

“I’ve been a virgin for a long time. There’s a lot of stuff I want to do to you… to both of you before I go and get knocked up. There’s a list and that sucker took me all night to write it and of course, I left it on my nightstand in my apartment. I'm officially list-less!”

“Being knocked up doesn’t mean you can’t still do those things on the list,” Ethan said, but paused and the frown line in his forehead increased. “Wait. What? Knocked up? You aren’t trying to get pregnant, are you?”

_Oops._

Shrugging my shoulders, I loosely wrapped my arms around Ethan’s back pulling him back against me. “It’s just an expression, and I know. They're just my sexual goals. Like I’d like to complete them before I get morning sickness and fat.”

_Fuck my life. I did it again!_

Maybe I should just tell them, here and now.

Ethan scratched the side of his ear. “I’m confused.”

Seth gave me a curious look, clearly more interested in my sexual goals than my verbal slip-ups. “What’s on this list?”

I exhaled, thanking my lucky stars that Seth was such a dirty bastard, and I started listing off my fingers, “Doggy style, anal, giving a blow job, double penetration… I looked up some stuff that seemed pretty interesting too, but I can’t remember what they’re called. There was this one where you do this weird body contortion. I'm flexible so it shouldn't be a problem. I just can't remember what it was called."

I held in my smile as I noticed the reddish tinge flushing Ethan’s cheeks. Did it turn him on, me talking like that? I didn’t know. This was all new territory. All the same, it must’ve done something, because he’d completely forgotten about my earlier baby-influenced words. Maybe I could get this done without either of them knowing, at least for now.

Seth raised his hand. “I’ll do it.”

Ethan lifted an eyebrow. “What is it that you’ll do?”

“I’ll sit on her chest and let her blow me.”

“Really?” I asked excitedly.

Ethan shook his head. “You’ve gotta be kidding me! She probably doesn’t even know how to give a regular blowjob.”

I shrugged, shaking my head so that my hair was completely off my shoulders. My breasts bounced with the movement and I had to bite my lip to keep from grinning at Ethan as I watched his gaze follow the movement. What we’d done yesterday and what we’d built up to tonight had made him even more aware of me in a sexual manner. That thought made me giddy.

Shifting beneath Ethan, I let my hand slowly trail down the side of his hip. “Well, let me practice on you,” I suggested. “Seth, can help me out. Besides, I’ve done a lot of research.”

“Watching is different than doing,” Ethan mumbled, scowling down at me.

Seth slipped behind Ethan. I expected him to do something particularly raunchy to him, but he simply turned Ethan’s head to capture his lips in a passionate kiss. Ethan let his eyelids drift shut. Seth’s hand wrapped loosely around Ethan’s throat, his fingers curved and resting on his jaw as Seth devoured. I lifted my hand to fan my face and exhaled.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Inhale.

Exhale.

Using the slow breathing exercise, I tried to amp up my nerve before reaching forward and tugging at the waistband of Ethan’s boxers. Swallowing, I kept my eyes glued to his waist.

It wasn’t like I hadn’t ever seen one before. I had, on the internet…  _plenty_ of times, but this was Ethan. And  _this_  was really happening. I knew I had to build up. I couldn’t just dive in, which is what I kept telling myself as I leaned forward to place a kiss against his hip bone.

The tiny, almost helpless sounding groan he let out made me pull back and I was surprised to see his hooded gaze focused on me. I’d fully expected him to still be invested in that delicious kiss he’d been sharing with Seth.

My face burned. I dropped my gaze and my hands from his waist. Pulling away wasn’t an option, there was only so far back I could go. So I sat there. My breath teased his exposed skin. Moisture bounced back to me, and still I sat, contemplating what I _knew_  I wanted to do, but Ethan’s intense gaze on me had me second guessing my confidence.

“Cassie?” Ethan’s husky unasked question made my eyelids flutter.

“I really have never given anyone a blowjob. What if I suck at it?”

Seth pulled away from the kisses he’d been littering over Ethan’s neck. “I think that’s the point, to suck.”

I scowled at him. “Oh, you’re funny, Seth!”

“It’s a learning experience, just—” Ethan paused and gestured towards his erect, frighteningly large, package, “become comfortable, if you really want to do this, then experiment.”

Seth licked up the column of Ethan’s throat before he pulled away to speak again, only this time he made eye contact with me, almost like he knew something I didn’t. “And Cassie, don’t do it the way you think it should be done, do it how you  _want_  to do it.”

I swallowed as I stared at him for a moment longer. Nodding, I tore my gaze from his heated one, and reached for Ethan’s hands, linking his fingers with mine before guiding them behind my head. “I want your hands here,” I whispered the words so softly I wasn’t sure he’d heard them at first.

When his grip tightened, the dull pain from the pulling of my hair let me know he’d heard me. I remained still, yet nothing continued to happen.

 _Maybe he doesn’t get it,_  I thought.

I pushed my head back, applying pressure on his palms as much as I could. A rather pathetic whimper rumbled in his throat as he finally caught on that I wanted him directing my movements, and he pulled my face towards him. A smile tugged at the corner of my mouth and just as my mouth was inches away, I turned my face so that the side of his semi-hard cock bumped into the curve of my cheek.

“You’re so smart, Ethan. I knew you’d get it eventually,” I said, peeking up at him.

Seth chuckled, his eyes locked on the scene before him. “She’s playful and she knows what she wants. I like that,” he said before tonguing Ethan’s earlobe.

Ethan raised an eyebrow and pulled one of his hands from the back of my head. I almost protested, but the now free hand gripped my jaw, stopping me. He forced my mouth open by applying enough pressure into the indent of my cheeks. With my mouth wide open in front of his cock, he stared down at me with an expression I’d only seen when Seth turned him on.

“I  _could_  get used to this,” he mumbled, letting his thumb tug my bottom lip.

“Hell yes,” Seth said.

The burning flush that had started in my face was topping the curves of my breasts and I could feel it continuing to spread further down as he held me in place, posing my face like a doll. If the lights were brighter in his room I knew they’d be able to see the redness spreading.

I kept eye contact for as long as I possibly could. That is, until Seth slid his hand down Ethan’s arm and pulled at his elbow bringing my face forward even more. Ethan’s musky scent, a mix of sex and pine soap greeted me. I tilted my head down and my tongue darted out, licking up the curve of his ball sack. Ethan let out a gasp and his hand tightened painfully in my hair. The hand that had been holding my mouth open tore away and pushed up my cheek, slipping back into my hair. A tiny spark ignited in my groin causing a new slickness to accumulate between my legs.

I watched from my peripheral vision as Seth’s hands dropped to Ethan’s thighs, coaxing them apart for me, giving me more room. I let my tongue explore upwards. His salty taste made me hum against the side of his shaft as I placed slow, partially open-mouthed kisses on him.

Vaguely, I heard fumbling behind Ethan.

A drawer opening.

A squish of something squirting.

A snap.

A drawer closing.

The noise was enough to make me try to pull away, but Ethan’s grip tightened and held me in place. “Stay.” Ethan’s growling command sent chills up and down my body.

I pushed against his hands so I could move to the tip of his cock. My tongue darted out, licking up the slit covered with pre-cum, before continuing with my small kisses.

“It’s the watermelon. I forgot to get more of the heating lube,” Seth said between the tiny kisses that made smacking noises in the air.

Ethan grunted, not seeming to care. His hips wiggled and I wasn’t sure if it was from my slow kisses or something Seth was doing behind him. Ethan let out a boyish whimper and his whole body jerked up. His hips thrust backwards and then forward so quickly that the tip of his cock pushed past my puckered, mid-kiss lips and forced my mouth open.

My eyes widened as I darted a glance up at him. I pulled away slightly, pushing against the pressure his palms exerted on the back of my head, so I could stare at him. “What—” I started, but Ethan pulled me forward again.

Ethan was so hard it looked painful and even took on a purplish hue. I puckered my lips against the mushroom shaped tip of his cock and gave him another sweeping lick.

“Scoot back against the wall,” Ethan demanded gruffly.

I did what I was told and when the wooden bars of Ethan’s headboard touched my naked back I got to my knees, sitting my butt against my calves.

“Lick,” Ethan whispered as Seth followed behind him as they both moved up the bed.

Ethan inhaled sharply through his nose, his jaw clenched, and a few seconds later turned to whisper harsh, excited words against Seth’s neck.

_It was fun practicing, but this was way better._

When I heard the faint rustling of Seth’s shorts dropping around his ankles. I dropped my gaze in time to see Seth’s large hands gripping Ethan’s hips from behind, adjusting him upwards. Seth’s intense gray eyes watched me as I continued to lick at Ethan like I had that cherry Popsicle the night before.

It wasn’t quick. It wasn’t rough or jerking like it had been in that Brokeback Mountain movie. It was smooth, like they’d been doing it for awhile. And I supposed they had been.

Seth curved around Ethan's back with his arms wrapped around his stomach. Seth’s eyes slammed shut, breaking contact with mine, as his hips rocked forward and as Seth pushed into Ethan, Ethan pushed past my lips once again and into my mouth. It was an incredibly erotic moment as his cock popped in and out every time Seth thrust against him.

My thighs clenched when Ethan let out a gasp as Seth bit into his neck. The continued pressure from Ethan’s hands against the back of my head pushed him farther into my mouth and I moaned.

This was hot.

So hot.

Too hot.

I could feel the wetness between my legs, sliding down my thighs, and pooling in the sheets beneath me.

A sudden smacking noise of Seth’s hips slamming into Ethan’s ass echoed. Watching porn had nothing on the startled shout from Ethan as Seth let loose another series of hard thrusts and what happened next nearly killed me. Ethan pulled my face into him, forcing his way down my throat, completely lifting my ass off the bed, like he was trying to crawl into my mouth.

I wanted this, but I wasn’t ready for that. My forearms slammed against his hips, pushing at him in a panic as I pulled away coughing. My eyes watered as I hacked into my hand.

“Fuck,” Ethan said. “I’m sorry. Sorry.” His string of groaning apologies continued.

Clearing my throat, I waved him off. “It’s okay. I wasn’t ready. I don’t have much of a gag reflex, but be careful because I do still have one,” I said, licking my lips as I finally got a decent view of Seth fucking Ethan. Memorized with the powerful thrusting in front of my I continued speaking like I was in a trance. "I wonder if it's possible to get my gag reflex removed? Do you know?"

Neither answered, but it didn't bother me. All three of  us were clearly invested in the happenings in front of me.

 _Talk about a gift to mankind._  I knew, in that moment, that I loved watching and hearing their rough fucking. I also knew that I was going to like it rough too. The thought made me grit my teeth with anticipation. I shimmied my chest as I re-settled against the headboard again, ignoring the mixture of worry and need in Ethan’s eyes as I watched him focus on me. I let my shoulders rest low on the head board of the bed and tilted my head up.

“I’m ready now,” I said.


	10. Topping Art

Ethan’s head rolled forward and he let out a helpless groan. Seth thrust harder into him, pushing Ethan closer. Seth repeated the movement two more times until it was either move forward or let Seth slip out of him.

Ethan’s hips were lined with my face, and his knees were almost touching the headboard on either side of my shoulders. I lifted my arms above my head, waiting for him to fall into me, but it seemed Seth wasn’t going to help anymore. I raised an eyebrow as the skin smacking got louder and quicker. A loud, drawn out groan from Seth, a yelp from Ethan, and then the fast pace Seth had set slowed.

Ethan fell forward, bracing his hands against the wall above me. I expected his hips to thrust forward, so my mouth opened and I waited, but when it didn’t happen I got impatient. He was kneeling over my face, dangling above my mouth, I could’ve lifted my head, but that wasn’t what I wanted.

“Come on, Ethan, fuck my face,” I demanded, hoping he wouldn’t say no.

Seth moaned. “That dirty mouth is begging for it, Ethan. Fuck her.”

“I can’t,” Ethan said whimpering, but it was like his cock was magnetically charged to dip into the wet cavern o my mouth, because he circled his hips forward. “I don’t want to hurt you again.”

Deciding to meet him half way, I used the muscles in my neck to lift my face up, relaxing my throat as much as I could so I could take him deeper. I let out a happy yelp, muffled by his cock in my mouth, as he finally took the initiative and thrust.

His hands, which had been holding his upper body mostly off me, slipped down the wall to clutch my head and hold me in place. And this time, I was ready for it. Ethan let out tiny, pleasurable grunts, and his fingers tightened, pulling at my hair.

This is what I wanted, I thought.

The need to see Ethan’s face caused me to awkwardly lift my gaze, but all I saw were his abs flexing with each thrust and his hair brushing against the wall. With Seth’s help, Ethan’s hips were now thrusting faster, causing me to drool. The lubrication from my saliva helped Ethan slide deeper every time. Not wanting to gag again, I pushed my forearms up enough to keep his hips from pushing too far. He was just shy of hitting the back of my throat. According to my cherry Popsicle, any stimulation at the far back of my throat and I was gagging.

Within the time span of five minutes, I learned three things: the closer Seth was to an orgasm the more verbal he got; the closer Ethan was to an orgasm the louder he got; and partial deep throating hurt after awhile.

The ‘fuck me Ethan’s’ and ‘that’s it baby cum in Cassie’s hot little mouth,’ from Seth plus the whining half screams from Ethan was enough to mostly cancel out the uncomfortable third realization. A charge vibrating in my groin sent tingling jolts all the way to the tips of my toes as Seth’s words made me blush and Ethan’s cries got louder.

I flattened my palms against Ethan’s midriff, pushing as his thrusting hips became wild, but it didn’t seem to matter anymore. Holding himself up with one elbow, he let his free hand slide up the side of my face to the top of my head. His fingers clamped down, holding me still between him and the wall. His balls smacked against my chin and his shouts bounced off the walls.

Ethan was so rough I was worried he’d go too deep, but in the end it wasn’t the tip of his cock hitting the back of my throat. It was the warm squirt of semen. I’d heard horror stories of the taste, but it was almost effortless swallowing it down and sucking him at the same time. It was definitely an acquired taste, but it wasn’t all that bad.

Ethan’s voice cracked as his orgasmic cries got louder. He trembled above me. His fingers curled in my hair once again. His hips stilled as he gasped for breath, but I could feel Seth’s continued thrusts. Ethan was shaking so hard I thought he might collapse against the wall and suffocate me, but Seth quickly shuffled him upwards, keeping Ethan in position, with his back flush against Seth’s front. Seth kept his hips pumping against Ethan’s ass, but his hand reached down for me. He gestured for me to get up. I lifted my ass off my calves and got to my knees. I was shorter—way shorter—than both of them, but with them kneeling I was able to push my upper body just slightly below Ethan’s chest.

I glanced down at the squashed rise of my breasts against him. Ethan wrapped his arms around me, pulling me up and away from the wall. Ethan and Seth shifted backwards, with Ethan holding me tightly to him, so that he could lay me on the bed. It was just in time because Seth pushed us all down onto the bed. I didn’t realize how hot I was until the cool, damp sheets, touched my bare back.

This was it. I thought Ethan was going to do it then… take my virginity. So I helped by spreading my legs and pushing my hips up. I wrapped my arms around Ethan, placing my hands on Seth’s hips. Ethan’s elbows were digging into my shoulders, but I didn’t care because I was finally going to feel him inside me. I was finally going to lose my virginity to the only person I’ve ever wanted, but he shook his head no.

Frowning, I bit my lower lip. What? Why? Was he… was it a rejection?

My heart suddenly hurt, but that was only partially why I wanted to cry out with frustration. I was more turned on in this moment than I’d been when he’d been sucking my clit. Deep throating cock was the biggest aphrodisiac in the world… to me. I hadn’t even realized how much my pussy was aching until Ethan said no.

I felt Seth thrusting into Ethan, forcing his hips into mine. The feel of him limp and damp from my spit was a horrible reminder that the physical act I’d wanted wasn’t going to happen. I turned my head, so that my face was against the sheet, my eyes staring at the wall. I was hurt. I was mad. I was horny as fuck. And it was my fault.

“Oh, Cassie.” Ethan was making grunting noises as Seth continued to jerk into him, but he managed to reach for my face, and turn my gaze back towards him. He ran his thumb along my eyebrow. “I can’t bounce back so quickly, you know?” he whispered, leaning down to kiss my lips, all the while accepting Seth’s frantic thrusts. Skin smacking against skin was becoming louder and Seth’s dirty dialogue morphed into helpless groans.

I frowned, moving with them as the bed creaked and moaned in protest. I got it, by my vagina was throwing a fucking fit.

“God,” Ethan growled, letting his thumb pull at my lips. “I think I really do love this mouth of yours.” My eyes widened in surprise as he leaned down and captured my lips in the deepest, most emotion-filled kiss he’d ever given me.

When Seth finally finished, he collapsed against Ethan’s back, causing me to grunt from all the added weight. Pulling away from Ethan, I smacked Seth’s back. “Hey, I only like this kind of torture when I’m turned on. Get off me!”

“You’re not turned on anymore?” Seth asked his voice breathless from exertion. It was the hint of drowsiness in his voice that had me scowl.

Him too? Gawd. Guys sucked.

“Sort of, and how the fuck long does it take you to cum Seth? Were you going for a record?”

Seth chuckled and sent an air kiss towards me before his head dropped to Ethan’s shoulder.

“I can’t breathe! I swear to God if guys fall asleep on me…”

Seth rolled off, made a small ‘oomph-ing’ noise as he settled in, and let out a small snore. I snorted in disbelief. “Unbelievable.”

I shifted under Ethan, dropping my raised knees down. “Ethan, I mean it. If you fall asleep on me I’m going to kick you,” I said, not fully believing my own warning. It wasn’t so bad having one guy lying on top of me.

He nuzzled his nose into my neck and placed kisses against the curve of my jaw. “We’ll make it up to you,” he promised as he lifted his hand to cup the side of my cheek.

Finally, he shifted his lower body off of me, leaving his sweaty chest on my side, and smashing my breasts under his arm. Stunned, I turned to watch his eyes drifting shut and when they fully closed I tried to pull away, but his arm tightened around me, bringing me towards him.

“This is just beyond rude,” I mumbled, wiggling under Ethan’s weight.

They’d been satisfied, but I hadn’t and now I was being partially squished. Even if I did like it, my vag wasn’t going to let me enjoy it too much. I was seriously thinking about leaving, until I felt Ethan drop his shoulder, applying more weight against me. I lifted my gaze and found his once closed eyes, wide open. He watched me with surprising intensity for someone so sleepy and my breath caught.

When one of his fingers slipped inside me, I was so startled that my hand shot to his wrist, gripping him tightly, only stopping him for a second. I swallowed and shot Ethan a surprised look. My mouth dropped open as I started to speak, but any words I’d been about to say cut off as my eyelashes fluttered against my cheeks. It didn’t take long for soft whimpering moans to escape my throat. I shifted against his hand, letting his palm apply pressure against my clit.

“Cassie, look at me,” Ethan said, his voice sounding sleepier than he currently looked.

I popped my eyes open when he stopped. “Don’t stop,” I whispered.

The corner of his mouth lifted in a droopy, tired smile. “Then you better look at me when I tell you to.”

“Ethan—”

Whatever I was going to say caught in my throat as he thrust another finger inside me. I clutched his arm as it pushed up and down my stomach. He dropped his forehead against mine, never breaking eye contact. It was like he was memorizing me, like he was searching my soul. He kissed me, once, twice, and then sucked on my bottom lip. I could almost pretend that this meant something, that we were just two people in love, pleasing each other.

Those are dangerous thoughts, Cassie. Remember, this isn’t about love, the logical voice in my head spoke.

Not now, the illogical voice responded.

It was a simple surface orgasm, but it came swiftly enough that a startled gasp escaped my lips. I hugged Ethan’s arm tighter to me, whimpering his name, and turning my body towards him as my hips humped the fingers he continued to thrust into me.

When it was over, he didn’t pull his hand away, or take his fingers out. He simply left them in place, gave me one last kiss, and settled deeply against me and the bed. When his breathing evened and I knew he was asleep, I still couldn’t stop staring at him.

Is this really that moment? That moment when the woman realizes she might be confusing simple sex with love?

I mean, I knew I already loved him, but I’d pep talked myself crazy about this. It was just sex. A means to an end so I could follow through with my commitment to be a surrogate for a couple who couldn’t have kids.

Ethan mumbled something into my shoulder, interrupting my thoughts. “What? Ethan, I didn’t hear you,” I whispered, breathing against his cheek.

“Love you, Cass,” he said again before falling back to sleep.

My heart thumped in my chest and I swallowed. He wouldn’t hear me so responding wouldn’t hurt any. “I love you too, Ethan.”

I should’ve been somewhat tired after that orgasm, even if it was just a simple one, but I wasn’t even close. I had always loved Ethan, secretly I had known that it was in that way too, but this was the first time I’d spoken the words and actually meant romantic love instead of friendship love. My heart thumped in my chest as my gaze lingered on his peaceful, sleeping face, and for the first time since I’d propositioned him, I felt like I was in trouble.


	11. Bang-lish [2/2]

I woke in the middle of the night, sweating from the heat surrounding me. I glanced down to see Ethan's hand and fingers in the same place they'd been when he'd fallen asleep. His upper body still covered the right half of mine. Seth was spooning Ethan and had, at one point, reached over to hold my left breast under his hand.

They were both still asleep. I could tell by Ethan's warm, steady breathing against my neck and the twitch that came over Seth's hand occasionally.

I placed an awkward kiss against Ethan's forehead and dropped a hand over Seth's. With a deep sigh, I tried to wiggle away to pee, but—not a minute later—I knew I was trapped. As much as I wanted to stay snuggled up against them I couldn't. It was hot, my bladder was almost full, and I was feeling emotional about my recent choices, but I was stuck.

My heart thumped rhythmically against my chest. "Ethan?" I whispered softly.

His dark lashes fluttered and lifted, exposing his impossibly green eyes. "Hey," he said, with a smile.

I heaved a sigh and lifted my gaze to the ceiling. "I'm gonna need you. I'm gonna need you both."

My breath caught in my throat as Ethan shifted his fingers, which were still inside me, and pulled them out. He wiped the wet residue against the sheet covering my hips before letting his hand drop against the breast Seth hands occupied. Ethan hugged me to his side and settled his chin against the curve of my shoulder.

"Hmm, I feel like you're about to get serious on me."

I swallowed the lump in my throat and dropped my cheek to the top of his head. "I am, but before I tell you, just know, it's going to do a lot of good, for me and them."

"Look at me, Cass," Ethan demanded softly as he pulled away so it would be easier to stare at me. "What's going on? You know, I knew it was something. It's been going on for a while now. I just couldn't put my finger on it."

I gave him a half smile, trying to keep the tears from falling. I almost didn't realize I'd been holding them in. This was my choice after all. I wasn't being forced into it and I knew I wanted to at least try for that couple.

"Over the past few months, I've been undergoing some heavy psychological counseling."

Ethan's eyes widened. "Are you okay? I mean—"

I shushed him. "I'm fine. It's a process that I have to go through to see if I'm fit emotionally to be a surrogate."

"A what?"

Ethan knew what it was, I was sure he did, but the puzzled expression on his face showed that it was too big for him to connect the dots in that moment. "A surrogate is someone who can carry a child full term for a couple who can't conceive."

Ethan glanced back at a still snoring Seth before turning his attention back to me. His body was almost rigid as he shifted from sleepy awareness to alertness. "Cassie—"

I cut him off quickly. "I already did the physical before I started the counseling, you know? What would be the point if I couldn't physically handle it, but now that the counseling is almost finished, I have to do another, slightly more invasive, physical," I paused and licked my dry lips. "I just don't want to go by myself this time."

Ethan gently pushed Seth off of us and pulled me up so that we were both sitting on the bed. "This is a lot to take in. A-are you sure you want to do this?"

Letting out a shaking breath, I nodded. "I'm drowning, Ethan."

His eyebrows snapped together. "What?"

"School, money issues, working all the time... I'm getting paid a lot of money to do this and it's enough to cover four semesters of school."

A small scowl started at the corners of his mouth and rippled to his forehead. "If you'd just accept my help and stop being stubborn I'd pay for everything. You wouldn't have to work and you know I have my own money, so it's not like you'd be taking from my parents."

"I love you, but I'm not your charity case."

He heaved an irritated sigh. "Don't look at it like that. Look at it as an investment in your future. I'll even make you pay me back if that's what you want."

"Ethan, please, let's not talk about that again, okay?"

"If you won't take my parents money, or mine, or Seth's, then give me the money you do have and I'll invest it for you. That way it will be completely yours and you won't have to worry about anything being a 'hand-out'!"

"That's actually a great idea. I've been saving some so you can invest it for me, but this is more than just the money."

"Well, then tell me."

"I want to know that I can do something good for someone else. Something that actually means a great deal... I want to know that I can be good—like your parents were to me. Like Frankie and-" I stopped as my voice cracked.

We were already on a touchy subject and I didn't want to make it worse by talking about my dead adoptive parents.

Ethan lifted his arm and brushed his fingers through my hair, tucking strands behind my ear before cupping the back of my neck and bringing my forehead to his. "You are too good. You don't have to do this to prove that to anyone."

I shifted down and kissed his lips. "I'm not changing my mind, but thank you."

Ethan's hardened gaze softened and his shoulders slumped. "When do you want to tell Seth?"

"How do you think he'll take it? I mean, it's not gonna be his kid, and there's only gonna be that one time sex between us... it's not like I'm his girlfriend. Or yours. I guess you both don't have be there for moral support, but it would be—"

"When is this physical happening?"

I bit my top lip before answering him. "In two days."

"We'll go with you, I promise." The firmness in his voice sent warm shivers down my spine and I couldn't control the goofy grin slipping onto my face. "So, is that why you want to lose your virginity?"

I pulled away from his hand and lay down on the bed. When he followed I let out a surprised gasp as he settled on top of me. The tip of Ethan's elbows rested in the curves of my shoulders, his forearms on either side of my head, and his hands held my head in place as he dropped teasing kisses against my lips.

"It's not the only reason, but yeah, it's big one."

"How long have you been doing this by yourself?"

"Almost a year—it's a pretty lengthy process. I guess the emotional trauma that can come from being a surrogate mother is pretty bad. I've looked up some people taking out lawsuits to keep the baby. It's crazy, but it's a requirement to go through with it. I won't even be using my egg. Her husbands' sperm is going to be injected into her egg and I'll just be holding the baby to term."

"If they're both fertile why can't she have it?"

"Her health won't allow her to physically hold the baby."

"How long were you going to wait until you told us this?" The interruption came from behind Ethan. The noise was a deep, sleepy growl that sounded slightly angry.

I turned my head to Seth. "Seth! You're awake!" I said around a surprised yelp.

"Are you going to make me repeat my question?"

My mouth dropped at his snapping, but I shook my head. "No. Y-you don't have to repeat it. I guess I didn't think to tell you both sooner."

Seth's eyes darkened, his pupils enlarged, and his facial features tightened into a scowl. "Maybe you need to start thinking better then."

"Seth!" Ethan whispered harshly at him.

"What, Ethan? Is she really that stupid?" He stopped at my enraged gasp and turned to me. "Are you that fucking stupid, Cassie, that you don't think this would've made a difference with things?"

My jaw clenched and I tried to push Ethan off me, but he refused to budge. "Things? What do you mean by that?" I asked tight lipped and almost afraid of his answer.

"Why don't you go lose your v-card to someone else and leave my boyfriend out of this shit?"

Ethan gasped. "Seth! What the fuck, babe?"

This time my palms shot out and slammed into Ethan's chest. "Get off me, Ethan!"

"No!" Ethan snapped and reached for Seth's bulging bicep when he tried to stand up and away from the bed. "We are not leaving angry!"

"You know what? Just forget it. You can go with her. Hold her hand at every appointment, but count me out! I've been there, done that, and I don't plan on visiting that reoccurring nightmare again."

I was still miffed at Seth, but something in his voice shifted at his last statement. I lifted my gaze to stare at him. His eyes looked haunted... afraid. I wanted to ask about it, but knew that would just continue leading them into another argument. 

"Seth," I whispered, awkwardly slipping my arm out from Ethan's body. "I'm sorry if I upset you. You don't have to help me with anything. I swear, but Ethan's right. We shouldn't leave angry. And I—" My voice vibrated with emotion so badly I had to bite down on my bottom lip. "I really want my first time to be with you two."

Seth's gaze softened just a little. The shirt he'd reached for on the floor was bunched in his hands and he stared down at the piece of clothing. "Look, I'm sorry too. It's not the best way to wake up, you know?"

I nodded. "I didn't think—again, me not thinking—" I gave a halfhearted chuckle, "that it would be much of an issue. We're not in a relationship or anything, so I assumed."

Seth's jaw clenched, but he sat at the edge of the bed. "You know what they say about assuming things."

I gave another nervous chuckle, still torn between keeping the peace, being hurt, and wanting to scream in rage at the cruel way Seth had responded. "So, can Ethan still boink me?"

The anger and tension melted like butter over fire and I could feel myself sucking in air at the lighter change in atmosphere.

Seth shrugged, that cat-ate-the-canary smirk slipping easily onto his face, "Only if I can too."

"But of course," I said, trying to keep a serious face. I darted my leg out and gently let my foot rub up Seth's thigh, "wouldn't have it any other way!"

Seth crawled up the bed and settled on my side opposite Seth. He leaned forward and kissed me deep, but he pulled away quicker than I would've liked. Seth reached forward and cupped my face. "I'm serious, Cassie. I don't want to have anything to do with it."

A shocking knife-like stab into my heart took my breath away, but I covered it as quickly as I could. He wasn't under any obligation to be there for me, so I'd just have to get over it.

"Okay, but this is not a discussion that's on the table anymore, right? We need to get into the mood. So, stop speaking American English and start speaking American Banglish. You know? Come-on-I-wanna-lay-ya!" I said and lifted hips, bumping against Ethan's who snorted at the quote.

"That's what you consider Banglish, a quote from Grumpy Old Men?" Seth said, matching Ethan's snort before looking over at him. "What is Banglish again?"

Ethan gave a casual shrug. "I'm assuming it's Cassie's version of dirty talk."

I hissed at them with the help from the tiny gap between my front teeth. Pushing my lower lip out, I pouted. "It's Grumpier Old Men. Get it right! Now, come on let's screw. Please?"

Ethan frowned. His steady gaze, clearly disapproving in my use of the word 'screw,' made me want to shrink back I had a feeling my 'Deflower Me' plan wasn't going to happen. Ethan lifted off the bed and turned his clock so he could check out the time. He released a rush of air from his lips, but turned with a large smile on his face. "I have a business class to teach and Seth—"

"Seth has an appointment with his personal trainer at the gym," Seth answered for him.

I pouted. "Ethan, your business class has a paid teacher to teach. Just because you're smarter than he is doesn't mean you have to teach his class. And Seth, your body is perfect—"

Seth cut me off. "Why do you think that is?"

My pout deepened because I knew where he was going with it. "Fine! I have the day off and everything. What's a girl to do?"

"Wanna come to class with me? You could learn about stocks and bonds," Ethan suggested, a slow smile creeping onto his face because he knew how much I hated that stuff.

"Do you want me to kill myself?" I asked.

Ethan shrugged and walked towards his dresser grabbing his wallet. He pulled out his platinum Amex card and tossed it at my feet. "You can go shopping."

"Ooh, getting out the big guns!" I said. "I'm not—"

"I didn't say shop for you. Don't get your panties in a twist," Ethan said.

"Ha! I'm not wearing any."

Seth's tiny, clearly unhappy groan as he walked towards the bathroom let me know he wasn't overjoyed to be leaving either.

"I'm running low on supplies. Need some more food and—"

I dropped back onto the bed, fanning my legs and arms out. "I know. I hate going into that store though. They treat me like I've got some type of contagious, incurable disease."

"They don't either. It's in your head."

"Yeah right," I mumbled. "Stupid uppity rich shops are not made for people like me, but fine. I will be your slave for the day."

Ethan lifted his chin in acknowledgement, gave me a silly grin, and followed Seth into the bathroom.


	12. Displaced

“This bitch,” I mumbled under my breath as I hastily dropped Ethan’s supplies on the counter top.

“Are you sure you can afford this?” she asked, trying to sound nice, even helpful, but I could hear the disdain in her voice.

I produced Ethan’s Amex between two fingers, holding it like I had a cigarette, handing it out to her with a ‘duh’ look. It didn’t matter how often I’d come in here to get the exact same things. Honestly, I did Ethan’s necessity shopping often enough with this same lady waiting on me that she should recognize me.

The blonde heifer paused at the name and frowned. “You don’t look like an Ethan.”

“Liz, come on! I come in here at least once a month. You know who I am; you know Ethan is okay with this since it is stuff I’m getting for him. Why do you do this every time?”

She gave a tiny sneer. “Poor people shouldn’t even be in the same vicinity as rich ones, that’s why.”

“Well, I’m assuming you’re among the poor-ish since you’re working here. What does that say about you?”

She clucked her tongue and started begrudgingly ringing up the order. “I’ll require his phone number.”

“Why?”

“To make sure you have his approval to buy these things.”

I rubbed my forehead before settling my chin in the palm of my hand, my elbows resting on the cold, marble countertop. “Fine,” I mumbled, rattling off his digits.

With an ‘I’m way better than you’ smirk, she dialed his number, but it wasn’t long until that canary-found-the-cream smile turned upside down. “Yes sir. I understand. No. No, I don’t have a bad memory. I do remember her. Of course we care. We didn’t call you sooner because—” she trailed off, not finishing her sentence. “I’m a newer employee. I’ve only waited on her a handful of times. I’ve always been suspicious, but I admit I should’ve called you sooner for legitimacy.”

What an utter, blatant lie, Liz had been with this company for at least three years. I couldn’t figure out what she was trying to achieve be acting this way.

She paused and shot me a glare before handing the phone over. “He wants to speak with you,” she practically spat the words out.

I offered her an ‘I’m-not-bothered-by-your-petty-bullshit’ smile and placed the receiver against my ear. “Hey.”

“Hey. Everything good?”

I turned partially away from Liz when she leaned forward to eavesdrop. “Now it is.”

“Is this the woman you’ve told me about?”

“Sure is.”

Ethan heaved a sigh. “I’m sorry, Cass. I really didn’t know she treated you like this. I’ll speak with management.”

“No, it’s fine. I’m used to it,” I said, twisting my head, and lifting my gaze to make direct eye contact with her. “I’m not trying to get her fired or anything.”

Liz’s cheeks mottled an angry red, but the worry in her eyes before she cast them down made me feel a little better about my decision for Ethan to not speak to the owner. I couldn’t fault someone who needed to work for money. I was in the same boat.

“So I’ll see you tonight?”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, of course! When am I not with you?”

He chuckled.

“My next stop is the grocery store. Any requests for dinner?”

“Mm, something with shrimp.”

“Wow, you’re just loads of help.”

“I trust your judgment,” he paused and I could practically hear the gears spinning in his head. He was cooking something up, something— “Seth should be back at the apartment in a little over an hour. Maybe you guys can talk… I mean take advantage of this alone time. I’ve got a few more hours of school and teaching, so I won’t be home until later.”

I frowned when Liz tapped her fake French manicured nails against the counter top as she waited for my signature. “I don’t think I want to talk to him about that, not so soon at least.”

“Then don’t. Talk about other things. Watch a movie, make out and get ready for tonight, something… anything. I don’t want things getting rocky or uncomfortable between the three of us.”

“I don’t either. You guys are pretty much all I have.”

“Cass—”

“Ethan, I get it. No rocking the boat on my end, at least not anymore than I have to because I haven’t changed my mind.” I bit my bottom lip and continued, “A-are you okay with that? I mean, with what you said earlier, about tonight? You won’t be there so—”

“I don’t have a problem with it.”

“Oh, okay. Bye!”

“Wait! Cassie—”

Handing the phone back to Liz, I signed the receipt and accepted the bags, ignoring her look of distaste as I walked out of the store.

The idea of being alone with Seth was more intimating than it had ever been. Really, I’d always been super safe-feeling and comfy with him. Since this ‘feeling’ was new territory I took my time grocery shopping and when I was finished with that I stopped at the park. It was cold enough that nothing would thaw out and the swing sets had always helped me deal with the small bouts of drama in my life.

Going up to the swing sets, I tore my shoes and socks off, sinking my toes into the sand. It squished and separated as I took steps foreword. When I sat on the swing, the metal chrome colored rings dug into my hands as I held on tight before pumping my legs to gain height.

I pumped my legs until they hurt, got so high my heart leapt into my chest, but it did what it was supposed to do. It kept me from thinking, and with every piece of my hair snapping into my eyes due to the rough wind that followed each back and forth swing, I knew it was what I needed.

It started getting dark quick, unnoticeably so too. I’d been caught deep into my ‘no-thinking-for-Cassie” zone that I almost worried about the Edy’s ice cream I’d grabbed. I wanted to hide from Seth’s haunted, angry look that had been directed at me forever, but I’ll be damned if I let my mint chocolate chip ice cream suffer from my fear.

“I really don’t want to fight,” I whispered, feeling slightly panicked as I got off the swing and reached for my discarded shoes and socks.

I didn’t bother putting them on, I just gathered them close to my chest and headed towards Ethan’s car. Driving barefoot may have been one of my dirtier habits, but the pedals against the soles of my feet made me feel like I had more control. Something I was lacking in all aspects of my life at the moment, so I'd get it where I could.

By the time I was at Ethan’s apartment, the sun had fully set and the uneasiness in my chest at being alone with Seth disappeared as I saw Ethan’s SUV. I exhaled slowly, got out, gathered the groceries, and made the semi-long trek to the fancy window elevator.

Tonight was going to be the night. Even after that small hiccup. Seth wanted this; it was something he’d made very clear in the beginning. Obviously, I wanted this. Ethan—well I think he wanted this too. It was okay to move forward now that we’d gotten familiar with each other intimately.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to Ethan’s floor.

Shuffling out, I reached Ethan’s door and twisted the knob. With my hip, I pushed it open and dragged the bags to the kitchen. I did the shopping, so I didn’t want to put it away, but decided I would take one for the team so we could get to business quicker.

“Hopefully, sex business and not shout business,” I mumbled under my breath as I put away the last item.

It was quiet. I hadn’t noticed until the crinkling of plastic and paper bags had stopped. This meant they weren’t in the living room. Ethan’s apartment was nice. Higher on the high end side, but he rented it for its simplicity. There were a total of three rooms: the kitchen, the living room, and Ethan’s bedroom, which was attached to the bathroom.

The bedroom.

I rubbed my hands together and darted for the door only to find the area empty as well. The pitter patter of water falling pulled me towards the bathroom.

The door was cracked enough that the moisture from the steam of the shower clung to my skin as I fanned it out of my face and stuck my foot out, nudging the door open with my big toe.

I stood there and watched them. The water falling from the rain can showerhead above Ethan and Seth seemed to use their bodies like a playground. It played, it sculpted, it even rested in the dips of their shoulders and where their bellies touched. In a dictionary, the definition of beautiful would have a picture of this scene right next to it as an example.

Seth whispered something in Ethan’s ear and the heart stopping-smile he shot Seth made me ache, but it wasn’t like the burning lava of lust from before, this ache was different. I bit my lip, shifting my watery eyes down. It was hard to breathe as I clutched my chest. My heart was heavy; feeling like it would dislodge and drop to my feet at any moment.

The acidic churn in my stomach intensified as Seth skimmed his teeth along the curve of Ethan’s jaw. Knowing full well I should leave, I lifted my gaze back to them scowling because for the first time in my life I wanted to yank someone’s hair out.

Okay, maybe I was over exaggerating a bit. I didn’t want to hurt Seth or Ethan, not really. But the longing to belong: for it to be okay for me to go in there with them, to be there between them...

Should I interrupt? Would they get mad?

The gentle, encouraging smile Ethan gave Seth spoke volumes. This was supposed to be a private moment between real lovers. It wasn’t supposed to include a best friend Ethan and Seth occasionally indulged.

The sharp pain that radiated through my jaw, from gritting my teeth, made me gasp. Jealousy wasn’t pleasant; in fact it was downright painful. I could feel it eating away at me. And what was worse? I didn’t have the right to be jealous. I knew what I was getting into when I asked for this. Didn’t I know I could never fully belong to them?

Was it even right for me to want that in the first place?

Leaning my head against the door, I watched them exchange tender kisses. With a smile, Ethan kneeled in front of Seth, lapping at the streaming water clinging to Seth’s rippling stomach muscles as he went. When his knees settled on the tiled floor, Ethan thrust his face forward, but seemed to be in a teasing mood and pulled a few inches away at the last minute. It was clear he wasn’t going to give in easily as he tongued the tip of Seth’s dick. Seth’s arms darted forward, slipping through Ethan’s wet hair, pulling him closer, but Ethan resisted, offering a teasing, come-hither grin instead.

“I wanna fuck your mouth,” Seth said with a guttural growl.

Oh shit. I took a step closer, close enough to see more clearly, but not close enough to step onto the damp tiled floor. My feet would not leave the shaggy carpet of Ethan’s bedroom.

Definitely not.

Ethan’s eyes glinted with mischief as he tilted his head to the side. Biting my lip, I swallowed as lingering traces of that ugly emotion burned away and shifted to mild arousal tweaking between my legs. With care not to be loud, I let my knees collapse under me. I curved into myself, dropping my forehead to the tan carpeted floor, fighting an internal batter of ‘should I stay or should I go?’.

“Who’s stopping you?”

Huddled down on the ground made it hard to hear the muffled excitement of Seth encouraging Ethan forward, but I still managed to get the gist.

“God, I love you.” Seth’s laugh transitioned to a chopping high pitched gasp of pleasure.

Talk about a bucket of cold water. That mild arousal tingling in my stomach vanished. It was one thing to hear them having sex without me, but to hear Seth, of all people, throwing out ‘I love you’s’ just wasn’t expected. Seth was stone cold when it came to words of love and adoration of the ‘I love you’s’ nature. Him saying it now just helped me realize the truth once again.

You knew this is how it was going to be, Cassie. Don’t be butt hurt.

I thought I knew what I was doing anyway. Being above this whole ‘love’ thing used to be my forte. The girl most likely to never fall in love was me. Given my past, it was hugely understandable to everyone too. Yet it happened, right underneath my nose. I loved Ethan in that way... and maybe Seth too.

I wanted them to love me like they loved each other.

My lips parted at the realization and I inhaled sharply through my nose. Hints of Seth’s cologne and pine soap from the bathroom didn’t help clear any thoughts either so I knew it was true. I still wanted him. I wanted them both. It wasn’t just about sex. It wasn’t just about virginity or me deciding to be a surrogate. I wanted to be with them.

To be in love with two gay—well bi-curious—guys was verging on hitting the line of ‘no,’ but wanting to be in a romantic relationship with both of them was heading way past the red zone of “hell no.”

I didn’t care about society standards because society didn’t care much about me either and destiny clearly didn’t give a hoot on the account that I’d had three different sets of parents—well only two legally—and the first two sets had died. So this, this thing that I wanted between the three of us, was impossible. It was wishful thinking that I should be smart enough to know shouldn’t happen. Wishful thinking was for people who had at least a 1% chance. I needed to count my blessings and be thankful Seth and Ethan were willing to indulge me.

I would be with them intimately, but only once and then… then we’d go back to being friends, like it never happened.

“God,” I whispered.

I’d known Ethan most of my life and Seth had been a part of that life for almost three years now. I was so stupid to think I’d be okay with going back to the way things were.

Tears collected at the corners of my eyes and I lifted my gaze to watch them. My heart just didn’t realize the complication this presented. And where this sexy, deep-throating blow job (apparently Ethan didn’t have a gag reflex like I did) should have been sexually stimulating and getting me hot, it was only hurting me. Every touch, every smile, every groan, every pleading whisper from Seth... it all came from a place I didn’t know anything about, a place of real romantic love, a place where I didn’t belong and never would.

Seth cried out as one of Ethan’s hands curled around Seth’s ass and pushed forward. Given the thrusting movements of Ethan’s arm I could only imagine what he was doing. Seth’s clutching fingers pulled at Ethan’s hair.

Tilting my head to the side I focused on Seth’s face. His jaw jutted out, his lips parted, his face tipped towards the ceiling like he was receiving a miracle. And wasn’t he about to? I’d heard prostate stimulated orgasms were intense.

Seth was beautiful; in different ways than Ethan. Seth was the night to Ethan’s day with his darker, caramel colored skin and black hair. And, it made me wonder, if Seth was night and Ethan was day... where did I fit in? There’s only yin to yang, nothing else.

There was no long-term girl in this equation. I needed to get over this. Ethan was still going to pop my cherry. Nothing could change my mind about that, but I needed some distance if I wasn’t going to become that obsessed girl, the one who wanted the two most important guys in her life to love no one else but her.

I loathe that girl.

I’ve seen that girl. And it never ends pretty for that girl.

I couldn’t be her. I was different and I wasn’t built to break, so I would deal.

Wobbling to my feet, I went to close the door, just as Seth shot his load down Ethan’s throat. The boyish cry of release echoed off the walls and Seth’s arms wrapped around Ethan’s head, pulling him so close that his nose hit Seth’s groin. Seth continued to pulse his hips in rough thrusts, and the once boyish cry changed into a long, animalistic growl.

Toxic. Toxic. You’re both so toxic for my heart.

I needed another harder core mental boot camp to whip my thoughts into shape. My ‘frustrated virgin syndrome’ was going to face another day. Maybe then I could pull it together and I could turn this toxic kind of love back into the friendship kind of love. It would be cake. And Ethan and Seth would never have to know the difference.

My bottom lip stung from biting it so hard, as I nodded my head furiously and quickly walked away from the bathroom and out of the bedroom. Stopping by, loading the cabinets and fridge, and then leaving unannounced would get me an earful tomorrow, but I wasn’t an expert at hiding such volatile emotions, and unfortunately Ethan was an expert at reading me. As much as I wanted to be here, I just couldn’t.

This was the only way. I wasn’t going to lose them because of this.

Blowing a kiss towards the bathroom door, I darted out of Ethan’s room and quietly tiptoed to the front door.

They could never know.


	13. Sexcathalon and Erototoxins [pt. 1/2]

The bell above The Coffee Barn door dinged as someone walked in. It was a slow morning, so I was actually excited a customer had finally come in, but when I lifted my head and saw Seth striding up to the counter my heart sank. I wasn't ready yet for this confrontation, I thought as flashbacks of last night made me swallow the lump in my throat.

"Hey," I called to him.

"Hey, where'd you go last night?" Seth asked

I shrugged. "I had to work early."

"You could've just stayed with us."

"I'll stay next time. I had laundry to do too," I said, giving him a small, timid smile.

He frowned and started drumming his fingers against the counter. "Are you okay?"

I widened my smile. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just seem..." he trailed off.

"I get off in an hour. This day has just been dragging."

He nodded and licked his lips glancing at me. "Are you gonna be ready tonight?"

"For what?" I asked.

"For our sexcathalon," he said, cupping his hand over his mouth to keep it between the two of us.

I gave him a dull, unimpressed look at his attempt to be quiet. "There's nobody here, Seth."

He shrugged, shooting me a boyish grin. "Yeah, I noticed. I thought people loved coffee."

"Apparently not on Saturdays, of course, it's only one o'clock. The drunkards don't usually get up until two or three. Then we'll get busy... right when I get off!"

"Drunkards. Who even says that anymore?"

I lifted my hand and pointed a finger at my nose, touching the tip and tilting my head, making a funny, cross eyed face at him. "Me!"

His smile was slow as it spread across his face. "So will you be? Ready?"

"Well, if I can get another show like last night, I should be... thanks to erototoxin."

I could've smacked myself in the face. Did I have to blurt out everything I thought?

"What the hell is that?"

Breathing an internal sigh of relief that it was the strange word he noticed instead of my other voyeuristic slip. "It's an addictive chemical that releases when watching porn."

"You were watching porn last night?" he asked sounding impressed, but there was a hint of excitement in his voice, enough of it that it made my face hot.

I nodded as the bell above The Coffee Barn door dinged again. Giving a quick glance, I saw Ethan juggling his books and stray papers in his arms. I smirked and tilted my head, waiting for half a minute so when I answered Seth, Ethan would hear it too. The urge to embarrass Ethan far out weighed my own. "I was watching blow job porn, male on male deep throating... in a hot steamy shower, specifically."

Seth's belt of laughter startled a surprised look from Ethan as he came in on the butt end of the conversation. Ethan's dark blond eyebrows snapped together as he settled his book load on a squared, mahogany table next to the counter.

"Hey," he said, stopping next to Seth and giving him a quick kiss on the lips.

He hadn't heard it and I had no intention of saying it again. "You look tired," I mumbled.

Ethan's hair was rumpled and his eyes were red and drooping like he'd been awake all night studying, but I knew otherwise. Seth and Ethan must've stayed up well into the morning with each other.

I wonder what they did... or what they talked about.

"Yeah, I am. Finals are coming up—I hope neither of you forgot—and I'm studying like crazy," Ethan said. "After you put the groceries away and left without saying a word, Seth and I stayed up talking when we should've been studying."

"Aw, there's my bookworm coming out to play," Seth said, biting his lip and raising a suggestive eyebrow. "Ever play Librarian, Cassie?"

I frowned. "Um, not really. Why Librarian?"

Seth's eyes partially closed to slits as grinned at me. "We'll make Ethan dress up after you get off work. The earlier we start the longer we can play," he said with eyes twinkling in anticipation.

"Actually, I—" I started, but stopped, remembering Seth's dismissive reaction to my eventual summer surrogacy. "I mean, I have a doctor's appointment. You guys can come if you want, it's just a physical and vitamin follow up... you know how it is. They gotta make sure I'm healthy enough to carry the baby."

Seth's smile wiped off his face, but Ethan didn't seem to notice as he nodded his head. "We'll go."

"Um—" Seth started. "I'll pass."

"Seth—"

Seth shrugged and interrupted Ethan. "You know doctors make me twitchy."

Ethan frowned. "Yeah, okay."

Seth cleared his throat and licked his bottom lip. The atmosphere between the three of us felt suddenly awkward, like we were all dancing around cracked shells trying not to piss anyone off. I bit my lip, waiting for someone else to talk.

"So, Cassie, that shower scene..." Seth said. "How would you rate it?"

With a quick smile, I breathed a sigh of relief, as that building tension stopped, and teeter-totted my hand in the air, "Eh, five out of ten."

Ethan's eyebrow rose. "Our shower scene?" He turned to look at Seth and then frowned when what I'd said registered. "Five? What do you mean five?"

\---

"Are you sexually active?"

My eyes widened and I glanced over at Ethan, "Um, not yet!"

The nurse's hands paused over the keyboard and she glanced up. "Have you ever been sexually active?"

It was one thing talking about my virginity with Ethan and Seth; it was another talking about it with a stranger... even if that stranger was a nurse. I could be as dirty as I wanted with Seth and Ethan, but here in the doctor's office it all felt so stiff and clinical-like. Joking an answer was out of the question.

Swallowing, I shook my head. "No. I haven't."

"Um-"

I held my hand up, cutting her off. "I'm making arrangements."

Removing her hands from the keyboard, the nurse turned in her wheeling chair and rolled closer to us. "Are you sure this is something you want to do?"

"I mean, yes—definitely."

The nurse nodded. "Okay," she said, offering a warm smile. "By the end of this process you'll probably be tired of that question."

"Why?" Ethan asked.

"We have to be sure that the potential surrogate not only understands the physical aspect of carrying another couples baby, but also the mental trauma it can cause if the volunteer is not ready for something like this. This too is going to be a heavy screening process and we'll ask that question every chance to assure that this is something you want to do and not something someone is pushing you to do."

She paused as if to say 'let this sink in' before she continued, "The minute you walked into this office, Cassie, you became our patient. You're mental and physical health is our priority, not the couple wanting the baby. Thankfully, you were smart enough to go to a different physician than the one the soon-to-be mother goes to."

I frowned. "That could cause some legal issues and information violations, right? That's what I assumed when I told them I'd get my own doctor. I don't want to think the worst, but I figured protecting myself and having a different physician was the best route."

"Well, you were right. Now, since this is such a lengthy process, you might decide to have intercourse with someone before it happens. If that's the case, we'll have to screen you for potential sexual diseases like syphilis and HIV again. Remember, wrap it before you tap it, wrap it twice if you have to," she added, giving a pointed look at Ethan. She turned to me. "And birth control... condoms break. Accidental pregnancy would obviously cause a problem in becoming a surrogate."

I hid my smile underneath my hand as I glanced at Ethan's flushing face. He looked like he was about to have a stroke and the nurse wasn't cracking a smile at all as she eyed him again. Her seriousness made Ethan stiffen in full alert. He gave her a nod and the blush in his cheeks spread to the tips of his ears.

He was just too easy to embarrass.

"I'm on birth control," I said.

"Good."

We spent almost two hours in the office. I had questions that needed to be answered and the medical staff had answers on top of questions for me. When Ethan wasn't in the waiting room, he had questions too. What better time to do it then while they were taking tests and sonograms of my uterus. They were seeing all up in there, so there was really no point in being embarrassed with them. By the time we got out, the sun was low in the salmon and turquoise colored sky. The wind was gently blowing the smell of freshly cut grass, and the growl of a lawnmower turned off.

I inhaled, letting my eyes briefly flutter shut as we walked towards Ethan's car. "Thanks for coming, Ethan. It was a lot easier with you being there."

He cast me a sideways glance and smirked. "No problem. It was definitely a learning experience."

Once we got in the car and put our seatbelts on, I looked over at Ethan as he pushed his key into the ignition. I wanted to ask him about Seth and his reaction to what I was doing. Seth's first dismissive response had been understandable—he'd been turned on—the second time, in the Coffee Barn, he seemed stand-offish.

"So, is Seth okay with this?"

Ethan turned his head towards me as he pulled out of the parking spot. "Why wouldn't he be?"

I shrugged. "I don't know, maybe the way he reacted when I told you guys? That could be it," I said dryly. "It's not exactly something he was asking for either. Will you make sure he knows that just because you're going to be my support system it doesn't mean he has to be if he doesn't want to?"

"Cassie, it's not like you're having this baby to keep it."

"I know, but I'll still be going through all that emotional crap and that might be something he doesn't want to deal with, ya know? I feel like he's not saying something about it."

Ethan nodded with a solemn, knowing look on his face. "I'll talk to him and see where he stands. It's probably just the idea of a living person inside of you that has him acting like that."

"Speaking of talking, what did you and Seth talk about all last night?" I asked, unable to keep the question down any longer.

Ethan switched his turning signal on and changed lanes so he could turn right before casting a quick glance my way. "You."

"Me? You talked about me all last night? Hell, I'm not that interesting."

I let out a nervous laugh and wrapped my hands around the clothed seatbelt tightly. The fabric from the corner of the belt dug into the palms of my hands. "Wow, that wasn't what I wanted to hear. What about me?"

"Nothing bad!" he said. "Seth wants to continue after..."

"After... you pop my cherry?"

He tsked his tongue. "Yes."

"What does he want to continue exactly?"

Ethan sighed, and when he stopped at the red light he turned his upper body towards me, his pine green eyes suddenly serious. "With you and the-um-the sex."

"You mean he wants to have sex with me after you do?" I asked and then shrugged. "I'm okay with that."

"No. Well, yes he does after I'm er--done, but that's not what he meant. He wants you to continue to be involved with us... sexually."

My eyes widened. Now that wasn't what I expected. "Like fuck buddies?"

That was something I wasn't so sure about. If only a few nights of heavy petting led me to the emptiness I experienced last night then how would I be able to handle that.

"Not like fuck buddies," he said, drawing out the 'o' in not.

Oh.

"Oh," I repeated my thought. "Like what then?"

Ethan didn't answer my question until he got to his apartment complex parking lot. He threw his seatbelt off and leapt out of the car, coming around to my side as I sat staring at the windshield, contemplating what he'd said.

There's no way he meant... that.

He pulled my door open and slowly reached over me. His breath mingled with mine and the day-old stubble on his face scratched my cheek. Ethan's gaze shifted to my face as he pushed the button of my seatbelt and carefully pulled it away from me. I started to get out, but Ethan shook his head.

"Stay," he said, leaning against the passenger door.

Settling back into the seat, I finally asked him, "Are you going to answer me now?"

Exhaling, he nodded, but didn't say anything right away as he examined me quizzically. "Like a relationship with you," he whispered. "That's what we were talking about all last night."

My lips parted. "What?" I asked, resisting the urge to shake my head and clear it.

"You heard me right," he said. He swallowed and ran a hand through his wind-rumpled hair. "I need to know how you feel about that, Cassie."


End file.
